[irinushki84]

Hi all.

I really do hope that someone will help me as I am really confused and lost.

Me and my boyfriend we ve been together its been about 10 month already we had amazing realationship first 6 month afterward we kind of started urguments constantly as we do not live together and he all the time is busy with his bussiness and his plans so he rarely finds time for me. I barly seem him and it is hard for me to understand seeing the boyfriend once a week is not easy i think. He asked me once to give him sometime until he finished problems with bussiness so he will have sometime for me too. but its already been monthes and all this does not have end. We dont sometime even speak on the phone to each other if i dont call him and his respond is that he is busy or stressed or feeling down and following day I found out that he was with family members on family gathering or with lads his friends...... then he apologises and tells me that he is sad and we talk about everything hoping that we are clear about everything and it wont happen again but in couple of days time same thing happens again.

last week after lovely bank holiday we spent together couple of days late he went back his lifestyle and tuesday evening he calls me to tell me that his web designer(she) will be visiting him at house at 9pm to do some work on the web site and he was completely aloan at home and his main computere is located in his bedroom.

I did really find it very hard to understand and we had urgument on that night. since then we was talking on the phone couple of times from beggining he seemed regreting this but last time i spoke to him was 3 days ago, he told me that he feels very stressed and he will not seem me(its already second week we did not see each other) for few days. he did not even call me or text me to even ask how I am. I did not too, as I really feel let down as I was always once who was going on compromise to save the realationship but this time I really feel angry. Same time I am dying to speak to him and to call him. I am in tears at work, in street or everywhere my life is like a hell at the moment as I really dont want to loose him.

Please someone help me what shall I do. Shall I call him. or shall I give him some time. If I will give him sometime he might tell me that he had enough of listening my complaints etc....

Please please someone advice me immediately....

Yours sincerelyIrene.

 

[sisters359]

It sounds like you are a lot more invested in this relationship than he is. Why? Why do you want to be with someone who sees you as an option, not a priority? You cannot change him, so you decide if what he offers is enough or not.

If you are too lonely, etc., without him, maybe your life isn't full enough and you come across as desperate or clingy. If so, make your own life fuller so that he wants to share in it more. Or, move on and find someone who wants what you want, and wants it with you.

Good luck.

 

[Susan2010]

Please someone help me what shall I do. Shall I call him. or shall I give him some time. If I will give him sometime he might tell me that he had enough of listening my complaints etc....

Please please someone advice me immediately....

What you should do is leave this man alone. Get him as far away from your life as possible. You should never want to be with someone who treats you this way. You fell in love with him, and you can meet someone else and fall in love with him too. Hopefully, it will be someone who wants to be with you. Hopefully, it will be someone who does not disrespect you so badly like this guy does. If he does, then drop him too and move on to the next one.

What do you think dating is for? Dating is for you to determine if the man you are dating is the right man for you. If he was the right man for you, he would treat you well. He would not lie to you. He would not make you unhappy. He would not make you feel bad. He would want to spend time with you.

If you date someone who makes you feel the way you feel right now, then he is not the right man for you.

If you date someone who does not spend time with you and make you a priority in his life, then he is not the right man.

Why don't you see this guy is a liar? He does not want to be with you. He is not too busy to be with you. If he wanted to be with you, he would make the time. Don't be so desperate and move on with your life. Don't call him anymore. Don't take his phone calls. Go make yourself a life so you can meet a guy who will be nice to you and wants to be with you.

I don't know what he is hiding, but he is hiding something. Either he has a wife, or he has another girlfriend, or he wants to play the field with many girls, or he simply does not want to be with you. There is something he is not telling you, but you should be wise enough to get the message all by yourself. It has been long enough and many enough signals that he has sent you. It is time for you to get the clue.

 

[CH]

Once a week only and you've been going out only 10 months, cut your losses and move on.

And is that once a week visit basically a booty call (sex only) and some dinner or watch a movie and such?

 

[827Aug]

The other posters have given you some great advice. If you continue on this path, you will never have true happiness. I also recommend you read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. You will learn what your love language is and what it is going to take to keep you happy. Right now, I would say "spending time with your partner" is your #1 language. Obviously this guy isn't meeting your basic love language. I spent 20 something years in a relationship like that. All I wanted was to spend time with my husband and do projects together. That's what I needed to feel love, but I never got that. Instead he kept insisting his love languages were what I had to have--gifts and physical touch. That led to years of bitterness and misery (for both of us).

 

[irinushki84]

I really needed some advice and many thanks to all of you for all the messages sent to me. I have never been weack person and I was the one who used to refuse and ban such a behaiviours from men in my previous relationships. but in this case I dont want to be women in charge and making some dicisions and destroying the relationship, I thought to forgive him once it did not work forgive him second time did not work and now when I want to forgive him he keeps tell me to make a decision I feel that I am stucked. i really love him I can see and same time I am destroying my life I think by loving him and not leaving him. I texted him yesterday asking just how he is and he texted me back apologising that he has not been in touch for couple of days and he would call me later on today which he has not done it so far.

Is it better to give him some time and wait what to do or shall I just really let it go. I still actually think that its anger thats why I cant let it go like this, as i didnt deserve such a treat.

 

[Blanca]

I
If you are too lonely, etc., without him, maybe your life isn't full enough and you come across as desperate or clingy. If so, make your own life fuller so that he wants to share in it more. Or, move on and find someone who wants what you want, and wants it with you.

:iagree:

 

[Susan2010]

Give him some time? How much more time do you think he needs? You are posting in complaint of all the time he takes and does not spend with you. What do you mean give him some time? You are not getting his message, and you are not getting our message. Tell me what is wrong with you? Have you been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or anything else? I'm not being funny or mean. I'm seriously curious.

 

[irinushki84]

Give him some time? How much more time do you think he needs? You are posting in complaint of all the time he takes and does not spend with you. What do you mean give him some time? You are not getting his message, and you are not getting our message. Tell me what is wrong with you? Have you been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or anything else? I'm not being funny or mean. I'm seriously curious.

I do not know. I am seriously concerned about my health now, as I might have ADD by now, I can find it very hard to concentrate on my studis, making some mistakes at work etc....but i never checked it with doctor.
I can not sleep anymore and I can not eat too. I have lost 6kg in couple of weeks....
he called yesterday and told me same story but this time he said lets leave the situation as it is now, and he will be in touch when he can as he is extremly busy...he did tell me that i am amazing person but I am pushing him far too much sometimes to stress......
it does really hurt.......i will leave him.....it is hard for me but can please someone tell me, is it actually my fault. did I make him to make such a decision or it him.

I did not ask nothing much, just basic attention to seem him more often, by him not doing it to me i can be happy and of course I can not make him happy too. I think all the normal woman would do same thing in my situation.

I dont know, I really do hope i will be out of this situation soon.

 

[irinushki84]

I do not know. I am seriously concerned about my health now, as I might have ADD by now, I can find it very hard to concentrate on my studis, making some mistakes at work etc....but i never checked it with doctor.
I can not sleep anymore and I can not eat too. I have lost 6kg in couple of weeks....
he called yesterday and told me same story but this time he said lets leave the situation as it is now, and he will be in touch when he can as he is extremly busy...he did tell me that i am amazing person but I am pushing him far too much sometimes to stress......
it does really hurt.......i will leave him.....it is hard for me but can please someone tell me, is it actually my fault. did I make him to make such a decision or it him.

I did not ask nothing much, just basic attention to seem him more often, by him not doing it to me i can be happy and of course I can not make him happy too. I think all the normal woman would do same thing in my situation.

I dont know, I really do hope i will be out of this situation soon.

 

[irinushki84]

Once a week only and you've been going out only 10 months, cut your losses and move on.

And is that once a week visit basically a booty call (sex only) and some dinner or watch a movie and such?

most of the time just a sex, chat for couple of hours and then heading down to home. I really feel that I am his sex buddy only.

and I do see this I dont want to admit that is rally happening in my life.