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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently, my girlfriend told me that she has a rape fantasy. I was shocked at first but I said no. She keeps on bringing it up even though my answer is no. But it's not just rape she also want's me to rape her anally too and I just can't understand why. I really want this relationship to work out but it starting to sag all because I will not go along with her fantasy. How do I get her to stop?
 

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Have you ever had anal sex with her? If not, this is a VERY bad idea. She could suffer real injury.

As for vaginal rape fantasy, if you google it, you'll find that this is actually one of the top secret fantasies women have. It's not about being beaten to a pulp and being hurt...it's about being totally dominated, being ravished by a strong man, giving up all control to him.
 

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im not a woman but if you have told her no and she keeps on pushing it i say RUN.

my wife read this and was speechless "a woman being raped is the most demeaning thing ever wow i suggest he leave now just wow"
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Have you ever had anal sex with her? If not, this is a VERY bad idea. She could suffer real injury.

As for vaginal rape fantasy, if you google it, you'll find that this is actually one of the top secret fantasies women have. It's not about being beaten to a pulp and being hurt...it's about being totally dominated, being ravished by a strong man, giving up all control to him.
Anal sex yes. She happens to like more than I do...but I'm not raping her. I really want this to work but I'm going to do something that makes me feel as if I'm an animal. I just want her to realize that's just not going to happen. All I want is for her to understand that it just won't happen. I love but I cannot bring myself to even think about such an act.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
im not a woman but if you have told her no and she keeps on pushing it i say RUN.

my wife read this and was speechless "a woman being raped is the most demeaning thing ever wow i suggest he leave now just wow"
I can't leave her. She''s special to me. We've been together for 3 years. I'm letting go of the only girl that likes me for me. The only other gf I have ever had was only for 3 months because at the time I had a lot of money but when the Stock market crashed I had nothing and she was gone. So, I am not leaving her.
 

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I think some people have the wrong idea of what a "rape fantasy" is really about. It's not about a woman who decides to walk down a dark alley hoping she'll get raped by some nasty thug. It's about trusting her SO to do this in a safe role playing kind of manner. This article may help explain it better: Why Do Women Have Erotic Rape Fantasies? | Psychology Today
 

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Enacting a rape fantasy (using a safe word) is one thing, but what your partner is suggesting sounds a bit out there, IMO.

Has your partner ever suffered sexual abuse?
 
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A rape fantasy is common.

Not taking your SO's "no" is not.

And you do realize not every fantasy has to be fulfilled right?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
So you've been rocking along everything peachy keen for 3 years and now suddenly she won't take no for an answer?

What changed 3 weeks ago?
When I said no to her rape fantasy. I mean at first I thought she was joking but a few seconds later she gave me a serious so I stopped laughing and I knew she wasn't joking and I just don't know why. She won't tell me why or when she thought about this or why she decided to bring this up to me now all of a sudden. We were just watching a porno (We do watch them together) and the conversation about fantasies came up and that's when she said it
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
So you've been rocking along everything peachy keen for 3 years and now suddenly she won't take no for an answer?

What changed 3 weeks ago?
We haven't hit rock bottom but I noticed a little bit of distance forming and I don't want it to get worse.
 

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If she felt rejected she'd stop bringing it up but she's not she's just getting more persistent.

Do you know why she's been getting more distant?
 

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Have you ever had anal sex with her? If not, this is a VERY bad idea. She could suffer real injury.

As for vaginal rape fantasy, if you google it, you'll find that this is actually one of the top secret fantasies women have. It's not about being beaten to a pulp and being hurt...it's about being totally dominated, being ravished by a strong man, giving up all control to him.
This is it exactly
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I wonder if part of the distance comes from her feeling as though she put this deep, dark, part of herself out in the open with you and now feels rejected because you don't want to participate. Maybe it's just the awkwardness of letting something like that out in the open, you know? I imagine that must have been very hard for her to tell you about, and it would be very easy to misunderstand your response as rejection.

Perhaps you should sit down and tell her that you appreciated her letting you in like that, and just because you're not able to fulfill that fantasy doesn't mean that you're rejecting her as a person. I don't know if that might help or not, but I just wonder if that might be going through her mind.

Something like, "I'm so screwed up for wanting this, and now he knows it too!" I just know that would be running through my head if I were in her shoes. She might just need some help realizing that you still love her even after she's opened up about such a twisty part of her. Good luck.
This works for me
 
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