I'm not married. Dating. I have a new girlfriend. This comes up a lot and I think some of you may relate to this - male or female. I'm the male - I always focus on my partner to the point that I make them selfish where the otherwise wouldn't if I was more "fair and balanced". Due to some medications I am on that decrease sensitivity (not desire or erection), I have trouble achieving orgasm. So, we wind up making love for 4-5 hours and it's not uncommon that she'll have 1-5 orgasms before I have one. So, I'm in this new relationship and I haven't had one. We just had a weekend of making love and there was an opportunity tonight for her to focus on me after I pleased her once more - but...she didn't take it, we just said goodnight. And it hurt me because she's a single mom and we wont have another opportunity for 2 weeks. In the meantime, I just got through pleasing her for the 6th time this weekend and I didn't get the sense there was any kind of feeling of taking care of me afterwards. I felt disconnected and, kind of used. The environment was as such that I think it was "in the air" that there is something wrong here. I didnt want to bring it up at midnight, it's Monday tomorrow and she needed to get to bed, but, still....I expect to see it in their heart that they are focused on me - especially when such an imbalance takes place like this (her receiving all of the attention and non-reciprocating the focus). I don't want to have to "speak up" in such an obvious situation. Her orgasms took a lot of time, she doesn't climax easily...and I put in the work (gladly) and attention and I just don't see that being returned. I would expect something like this 'Honey, before you try to please me again, I will not allow it until I please you" or something like that. But, she just walked me to the door goodnight. I felt like a male prostitute. I guess I'm frustrated too. Would appreciate advice. Yes, I know I should communicate this with her, but at our age, 45, I just figured she would be totally aware of the situation and feel she's just, well, turning selfish.
I make women selfish - and it's causing a problem
- Status
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Joined
·
119 Posts
Don't just assume that she is aware. How long has it been since she has dated? Maybe she is out of tune with things. Also her being a single mom and it being midnight , maybe she is just to tired and didn't think. If this is a first incident I wouldn't call her selfish.
Joined
·
386 Posts
I would say it's selfish, i'm a single mother and what has that got to do with sex, all i know is it would really bother me if my sexual partner hadn't cum, in fact i'd make it my top priority to achieve that for them in every way possible. Expect to be woken with oral 
How long have you been in this new relationship? And no offence, but after 4 or 5 hours, not everyone would still be thinking of sex. From my experience, while many women don't want 5 minutes of "pump and dump", they don't always want to run a marathon every time either.
And expectations that the other person will "just get it" without actually having to talk about it are pretty unrealistic, even at 45 (my age, BTW). At this age, you should be able to talk about grown up topics without either party getting squirmy. That's one thing I LOVE about the relationship with my GF of two years. Open and honest communication on virtually any topic.
C
And expectations that the other person will "just get it" without actually having to talk about it are pretty unrealistic, even at 45 (my age, BTW). At this age, you should be able to talk about grown up topics without either party getting squirmy. That's one thing I LOVE about the relationship with my GF of two years. Open and honest communication on virtually any topic.
C
Joined
·
1,811 Posts
Based on your title, I assume this has happened with more than one woman in your life?
Either way, it sounds like youa re fairly new to the relationship, so this is the perfect time to just be honest and say what you are feeling, that you want some 'personal satisfaction' as well.
If she won't do it now, at the start of a relationship, you know she won't do it later. Better to find out early. Also, it may be a blessing in disguise because the last thing you want is a bait and switch.
Either way, it sounds like youa re fairly new to the relationship, so this is the perfect time to just be honest and say what you are feeling, that you want some 'personal satisfaction' as well.
If she won't do it now, at the start of a relationship, you know she won't do it later. Better to find out early. Also, it may be a blessing in disguise because the last thing you want is a bait and switch.
Joined
·
17,074 Posts
I'm guessing that the average single mom, after rutting for 4-5 hours and achieving multiple orgasms would probably be ready for some sleep. Maybe if you just gave her 30-45 minutes of your best stuff, get her where she needs to go but then leave her with enough time and energy to tip her driver. Hit all her joy buttons but don't flog them into submission.
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
- Status
Join the discussion
