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Find a Codependents Anonymous support group nearby and go several times a week until you have broken your addiction to him. He is BAD for you. At the CA group you will learn to love yourself and be your own best friend and protector.
I had an ex roommate who I continually thought of reading this. He never got violent but he was a classic stalker. Of course as soon as he would slow down on the stalking behavior the girls would initiate contact again. His previous roommate and I always laughed because his gf's were generally pretty hot looking but they were bat$**t crazy; not always obvious at first but given a few weeks it came through.
 

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Discussion Starter #42
I am going to try this week to seek some help. I really needed it this weekend, but there was nothing available, and of course, I once again screwed up and caved.
He texted me from around the corner and was like let’s go party.
I got into his car, he bought some alcohol and we drove to another city where he rented us a hotel room.
We had a few drinks and made love all night and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

We talked about a lot more things. Things that really hurt me, but are not really in my control since we are technically not together. But I know this man like a book and things are going to change.

I will go read that article now.


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Discussion Starter #43
So, tonight happened,
He texted me the transcript of what happened when he was sentenced and all I could do was cry.
He is living with someone else now, but he keeps her at arm’s length. She has no idea about him, or his past or his family.
He tells me that he still loves me and wants to know how we could work again on my end of it all.
All I can think about is how stupid she must be for not asking these things. He says he doesn’t love her, and I actually believe that because if she loved him, she would want to know about his past and his family.
She would also go insane reading him going guilty repeatedly.
Poor woman.


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So, tonight happened,
He texted me the transcript of what happened when he was sentenced and all I could do was cry.
He is living with someone else now, but he keeps her at arm’s length. She has no idea about him, or his past or his family.
He tells me that he still loves me and wants to know how we could work again on my end of it all.
All I can think about is how stupid she must be for not asking these things. He says he doesn’t love her, and I actually believe that because if she loved him, she would want to know about his past and his family.
She would also go insane reading him going guilty repeatedly.
Poor woman.


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She doesn't know what he is, yet you do and you go back. Who is the real "poor woman" here? The one who is unknowingly with a monster, or the one who is knowingly with a monster and doesn't care about her own safety?
 

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So, tonight happened,
He texted me the transcript of what happened when he was sentenced and all I could do was cry.
He is living with someone else now, but he keeps her at arm’s length. She has no idea about him, or his past or his family.
He tells me that he still loves me and wants to know how we could work again on my end of it all.
All I can think about is how stupid she must be for not asking these things. He says he doesn’t love her, and I actually believe that because if she loved him, she would want to know about his past and his family.
She would also go insane reading him going guilty repeatedly.
Poor woman.


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New Me, Is he in a committed relationship with her? Does she know he's taking you to hotel rooms? What are you doing?

He is getting reattached to you and when you pull back there's no telling how he will handle it. Please pull it together before it's too late.

What would happen if he texts you and you just do not respond? Or you say you are busy? Will he accept that gracefully? Or will he lose his **** and start stalking you or turn on you?

Have you gone to the women's shelter or talked with anyone who can help you gain some perspective? Or are you putting that off because you don't want to hear what you know they're going to say?

I'm pulling for you but I'm getting a very bad feeling.
 

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An ex stalked his ex wife down where she worked and shot her dead in my home town.

You are playing with your life. What it your son is with you when he snaps again?
 

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Discussion Starter #48
So, I want to add a few updates on life.

I knew my ex is dangerous, but I was still drawn.

We actually went on an amazing vacation together, but ended up splitting ties after it, with a lot of love making, holding hands, sharing an amazing amount of memories together. Holding each other, kissing, touching, making more moments.

It was bittersweet.
It was like our final goodbye.
I needed it. He needed it.

We will always have our goodbye that we both needed. We both have our photos.

I am so destroyed again because I could have forgiven him about everything and moved forward, but I would have lost everyone else in my life, and they are most important to me.

At least I said my peace and I am alive after because he did try to kill me when we were alone.

Time to pick up the pieces, vent, move on.


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So, I want to add a few updates on life.

I knew my ex is dangerous, but I was still drawn.

We actually went on an amazing vacation together, but ended up splitting ties after it, with a lot of love making, holding hands, sharing an amazing amount of memories together. Holding each other, kissing, touching, making more moments.

It was bittersweet.
It was like our final goodbye.
I needed it. He needed it.

We will always have our goodbye that we both needed. We both have our photos.

I am so destroyed again because I could have forgiven him about everything and moved forward, but I would have lost everyone else in my life, and they are most important to me.

At least I said my peace and I am alive after because he did try to kill me when we were alone.

Time to pick up the pieces, vent, move on.


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Best wishes for the rest of your life.

And remember, we will always be here for you. :)
 

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So, I want to add a few updates on life.

I knew my ex is dangerous, but I was still drawn.

We actually went on an amazing vacation together, but ended up splitting ties after it, with a lot of love making, holding hands, sharing an amazing amount of memories together. Holding each other, kissing, touching, making more moments.

It was bittersweet.
It was like our final goodbye.
I needed it. He needed it.

We will always have our goodbye that we both needed. We both have our photos.

I am so destroyed again because I could have forgiven him about everything and moved forward, but I would have lost everyone else in my life, and they are most important to me.

At least I said my peace and I am alive after because he did try to kill me when we were alone.

Time to pick up the pieces, vent, move on.


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Talk about fatal attraction!
 

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You are in the “cycle” of violence. You fall in love, have the crap kicked out of you, leave and whoa, back in love. Rinse and repeat.
Personally, I’ve been involved with both the perpetrators and victims both in my 40 years of work that I have been in and rarely see a change in the above cycle.

Can people change? Yes, but not without mega work on their parts to overcome the innate anger issues to begin with. Does the counseling and work make them a safe partner? In some cases yes, but I believe for the most part no. Check with your local women’s shelter for statistics.

Have I seen the worst outcome in my life? Yes I have and unfortunately those ladies will never see their children grow.


I’m not trying to be harsh or flipping your feelings off, I’m just giving you my perspective from many years of working in a couple of fields in which these types of situations were rampant.

Take my comments whichever way you want,I wish you the best in your deliberations.

OT

Just read your last post, glad you pulled the pin. I really believe you saved yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter #53
I did pull it.
I needed to say good bye so that I could move forward. I am working through over 40 years of pain....hopefully the last 4 has that lasting impact.

Thank you for all of your support.


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