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An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.

I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC.

I hate that she now probably thinks she has control over me. I love her, but that doesn't mean that I can or want to R. I will never ask for it, and if she ever does, I honestly doubt that I could do it.

She's been telling me over the past several weeks that she made a mistake leaving me and still loves me, and I guess I allowed that to mess with me.
 

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An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.

I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC.

I hate that she now probably thinks she has control over me. I love her, but that doesn't mean that I can or want to R. I will never ask for it, and if she ever does, I honestly doubt that I could do it.

She's been telling me over the past several weeks that she made a mistake leaving me and still loves me, and I guess I allowed that to mess with me.
I dont think it was a mistake. It was an expression of your heart! She has to know that deep down you love her. Loving her in some way will always be there since you have a child together. Loving her and wanting to be back in the misery you were in, another story. If she ever mentions it, which I doubt she will just tell her that what your heart felt at the moment but once you thought about it your heart decided it didnt want to go back to the hell it was in before.

Dont beat yourself up over it!! :) BTW, I was just thinking about you today and wondering if you had been to court yet.
 

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Hey, you're human. You will always love who she WAS. You simply expressed your emotions. If you ever have conversations via text, try this "I loveD you"
 
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An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.

I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC.

I hate that she now probably thinks she has control over me. I love her, but that doesn't mean that I can or want to R. I will never ask for it, and if she ever does, I honestly doubt that I could do it.

She's been telling me over the past several weeks that she made a mistake leaving me and still loves me, and I guess I allowed that to mess with me.
She already knows you love her. That does not mean you are willing to put up with a toxic relationship with her, unless she makes some very real changes. And maybe even not if she does change.

I don't think it makes you look weak. So you admitted that you love her. It may even make her feel terrible.
 

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Proverbs 14:1
 

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i understand 600%
 

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I wouldn’t worry about the text, I’ve done worse.

As long as you just let it go you are ok, hell you probably screwed with her head some since you left her hanging from it (she is probably thinking you will pursue her now and wonder why you are still quiet).

If she ever asked about it, ignore her or tell her it was a mistake. No biggie.
 
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