These are words my wife rarely ever says to me on her own. About the only time she ever says it first is after a fight and a "serious talk". Even then, it lasts for about a day or two and then i never hear them unless i say it first.
Now ive asked her about this and she claims shes not the affectionate type and that she does love me. Its just not something she thinks about. Well that may be true but everytime she talks or texts her best friends, shes always throws out a "love you guys" or "love you" to them. I pretty much need to threaten leaving to get that response.
It pisses me off to see her text that to her friends...and yes they are just friends and not secretly a lover or anything. Dont really know how i should feel about this or how to take it.
... everytime she talks or texts her best friends, shes always throws out a "love you guys" or "love you" to them. I pretty much need to threaten leaving to get that response.
She is afraid/fear of intimacy.Do not demand she say's " I love you ".I tell my children my mother my friends I love them and I mean it deeply.Not so easy to say to my husband..Especially if he "demands it".
I love you is an empty phrase to me. Anyone can say it, and I don't believe everyone means it. Show me.
My STBX said it often enough I guess, but he was always pointing it my flaws, not telling me what I did right, behaving as though I was an inconvenience. In 16 years of marriage I can use my fingers to count the times he has bought me flowers. There has never been a spontaneous gift, except when I thought I was losing our first child. That lasted until hyperemesis kicked in and I was unable to clean. Oh but he told me he loved me! That should be enough. It isn't.
What else is she doing. Is she a gift giver? Does she enjoy touching you or cuddling? It really could be a matter of that phrase means little to her and she is trying to tell you in other ways that she cares.
hawx20 - I've read some of your other posts. The lack of "I Love You" responses from your wife is just an indication of all the other issues in the marriage. You've mentioned in other posts that she just lies there like a log during sex wanting you to hurry up and finish; that she purposely tries to sabotage your weight loss by making sweets and your favorite calorie laden meals; discouraging you from getting better fitting, more contemporary clothing for yourself. Given that background, there are two possible reasons she doesn't say ILY - one, she doesn't feel it for you now, or two, she does but has resentment so she's being passive aggressive by holding it back from you when she knows you want to hear it.
My wife could never utter those words again in our relationship and I would be perfectly happy as long as she showed me, through her actions, that she actually did love me.
Talk is cheap. Backing it up is hard work. Maybe that's just the way she sees the world, and she expects you to look at it the same way.
She might think if she says I Love you, you will take that to mean, have sex with me. If she is not enjoying sex at the moment, she might want to avoid anything that suggests to you that she wants it.
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