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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
These are words my wife rarely ever says to me on her own. About the only time she ever says it first is after a fight and a "serious talk". Even then, it lasts for about a day or two and then i never hear them unless i say it first.

Now ive asked her about this and she claims shes not the affectionate type and that she does love me. Its just not something she thinks about. Well that may be true but everytime she talks or texts her best friends, shes always throws out a "love you guys" or "love you" to them. I pretty much need to threaten leaving to get that response.

It pisses me off to see her text that to her friends...and yes they are just friends and not secretly a lover or anything. Dont really know how i should feel about this or how to take it.
 

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... everytime she talks or texts her best friends, shes always throws out a "love you guys" or "love you" to them. I pretty much need to threaten leaving to get that response.
Ouch. If this is the case, do you think her "I love you's" are sincere?
 
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How long have you been married? What's going on in your marriage? Is this another symptom or just the one thing that bothers you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Ouch. If this is the case, do you think her "I love you's" are sincere?

When she tells her friends its more along the lines of a friendly good bye...nothing more.

Problem is i never hear it from her but she tells them all the time. Other than her LD and my HD for sex, there havent been a ton of problems.
 

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She is afraid/fear of intimacy.Do not demand she say's " I love you ".I tell my children my mother my friends I love them and I mean it deeply.Not so easy to say to my husband..Especially if he "demands it".
 

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I love you is an empty phrase to me. Anyone can say it, and I don't believe everyone means it. Show me.

My STBX said it often enough I guess, but he was always pointing it my flaws, not telling me what I did right, behaving as though I was an inconvenience. In 16 years of marriage I can use my fingers to count the times he has bought me flowers. There has never been a spontaneous gift, except when I thought I was losing our first child. That lasted until hyperemesis kicked in and I was unable to clean. Oh but he told me he loved me! That should be enough. It isn't.

What else is she doing. Is she a gift giver? Does she enjoy touching you or cuddling? It really could be a matter of that phrase means little to her and she is trying to tell you in other ways that she cares.
 

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When she tells her friends its more along the lines of a friendly good bye...nothing more.

Problem is i never hear it from her but she tells them all the time. Other than her LD and my HD for sex, there havent been a ton of problems.
Oh and you have HD and she has ND ?(ND NORMAL DRIVE)..you could be suffocating her..Makes sense.

Listen...a drive for sex lower than yours doesnt mean Low DRIVE.

Thats like saying a car drives "slow and fast"..Yeah sure it does..but a car also drives "medium"..1st gear to 5th..NO..there is also 2nd 3rd and 4th!
 

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I love you is an empty phrase to me. Anyone can say it, and I don't believe everyone means it.
I agree..I only say it when I mean it "feel " it...I don't just say it like "hello" and goodbye..

I told my mother 2 days ago..I love you mama..and I meant it..I tell my son when he goes to school in the morning "love ya" and I mean it.

But no one can tell me I HAVE to say that..like a forced thing..ridiculous..

I recently told my cat that was missing 24 hours when he was back..I didn't realize how much I loved you until you were gone..
 

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hawx20 - I've read some of your other posts. The lack of "I Love You" responses from your wife is just an indication of all the other issues in the marriage. You've mentioned in other posts that she just lies there like a log during sex wanting you to hurry up and finish; that she purposely tries to sabotage your weight loss by making sweets and your favorite calorie laden meals; discouraging you from getting better fitting, more contemporary clothing for yourself. Given that background, there are two possible reasons she doesn't say ILY - one, she doesn't feel it for you now, or two, she does but has resentment so she's being passive aggressive by holding it back from you when she knows you want to hear it.
 

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My wife could never utter those words again in our relationship and I would be perfectly happy as long as she showed me, through her actions, that she actually did love me.

Talk is cheap. Backing it up is hard work. Maybe that's just the way she sees the world, and she expects you to look at it the same way.
 

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She might think if she says I Love you, you will take that to mean, have sex with me. If she is not enjoying sex at the moment, she might want to avoid anything that suggests to you that she wants it.
 
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