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My husband and I have been together for 9 married for 7 years. We have two 8 years old twins who we love very much. I like to think we have a good marriage even though it stared out pretty rough. I fell pregnant during my senior year in high school so we never stared off on the right. Being teenage parents is never easy it come with so many problems and difficulties. We always managed and found ways to work through them and becoming stronger. I truly believe I found my soul mate in my husband. I know I don’t deserve and everything he has done and given to me.

During the fall semester I shared a few class together. We became good friends we shared many of the same interest. We would spend of time during together helping each with homework and studying. At one point we exchanged numbers and we stared to text each other like crazy. I never really thought we were doing anything wrong I always saw him as a good friend someone I could just talk. Last week we the both of us ever invited. We both went with different set of friends. Even though we didn’t go together we spent most of our time together. Towards the end of the party he asked me if I wanted to with him to another party his friends were having I knew I should have said no but I didn’t. I had a few chance to change my mind. At point we lost each other in the club where the party was taking place I went out of my way to find him. We would end up leaving together to one of his friend’s party which was more of a house party. I was already kind of drunk a t this point. When I got his friends party we spent about an hour just talking and hanging out with a few of his friends. I also stared drinking more we both end up going into one of the rooms. I end up cheating on my husband that night. I felt sick to my stomach and left right after it happened. I called one of my friends to pick me up. I asked her if I could sleep over at her place I never told her what happened but she knew something was wrong. I haven’t anyone this yet.

I was going to keep this a secret because I was scared of the amount of pain I would cause my husband and I don’t know how he would react. But I am so consumed with guilt. I have never ever cheated on my husband during marriage or before. I’ve never even had a one night stand. My husband and I are always completely honest with each other. If I tell him, he’ll be devastated. I don’t if he would be able to forgive me and I don’t know what I would do if he leave me. I know I am a complete coward, in every sense of the word. I am so scared of the fall out that I am paralyzed with fear. My husband, in no way deserves any of this. It makes me feel horrible to think of how he would react if he knew the truth. I don’t want to tell him but have been living in fear every single day that when I get home, my clothes and belongings will be thrown onto the lawn. I am so scared of the thought of someone else telling him. If he is to find out I would rather it be from me not someone else. I just feel so guilty all the time .I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I feel like I was so stupid about the whole thing it all could have been prevented. All I had to do was say no but I just couldn’t say no. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I don’t know what to do to get over this. I am so in love with my husband. I feel disgusted with myself. I just don’t know what to do if I keep this a secret I could maybe save my marriage. If I tell him I know he will be devastated and I could lose everything just too ease my guilt. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Sorry i didn't mean for it to be so long
 

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My husband and I have been together for 9 married for 7 years. We have two 8 years old twins who we love very much. I like to think we have a good marriage even though it stared out pretty rough. I fell pregnant during my senior year in high school so we never stared off on the right. Being teenage parents is never easy it come with so many problems and difficulties. We always managed and found ways to work through them and becoming stronger. I truly believe I found my soul mate in my husband. I know I don’t deserve and everything he has done and given to me.

During the fall semester I shared a few class together. We became good friends we shared many of the same interest. We would spend of time during together helping each with homework and studying. At one point we exchanged numbers and we stared to text each other like crazy. I never really thought we were doing anything wrong I always saw him as a good friend someone I could just talk. Last week we the both of us ever invited. We both went with different set of friends. Even though we didn’t go together we spent most of our time together. Towards the end of the party he asked me if I wanted to with him to another party his friends were having I knew I should have said no but I didn’t. I had a few chance to change my mind. At point we lost each other in the club where the party was taking place I went out of my way to find him. We would end up leaving together to one of his friend’s party which was more of a house party. I was already kind of drunk a t this point. When I got his friends party we spent about an hour just talking and hanging out with a few of his friends. I also stared drinking more we both end up going into one of the rooms. I end up cheating on my husband that night. I felt sick to my stomach and left right after it happened. I called one of my friends to pick me up. I asked her if I could sleep over at her place I never told her what happened but she knew something was wrong. I haven’t anyone this yet.

I was going to keep this a secret because I was scared of the amount of pain I would cause my husband and I don’t know how he would react. But I am so consumed with guilt. I have never ever cheated on my husband during marriage or before. I’ve never even had a one night stand. My husband and I are always completely honest with each other. If I tell him, he’ll be devastated. I don’t if he would be able to forgive me and I don’t know what I would do if he leave me. I know I am a complete coward, in every sense of the word. I am so scared of the fall out that I am paralyzed with fear. My husband, in no way deserves any of this. It makes me feel horrible to think of how he would react if he knew the truth. I don’t want to tell him but have been living in fear every single day that when I get home, my clothes and belongings will be thrown onto the lawn. I am so scared of the thought of someone else telling him. If he is to find out I would rather it be from me not someone else. I just feel so guilty all the time .I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I feel like I was so stupid about the whole thing it all could have been prevented. All I had to do was say no but I just couldn’t say no. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I don’t know what to do to get over this. I am so in love with my husband. I feel disgusted with myself. I just don’t know what to do if I keep this a secret I could maybe save my marriage. If I tell him I know he will be devastated and I could lose everything just too ease my guilt. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Sorry i didn't mean for it to be so long
You messed up. Your husband deserves to know. He also deserves to know you if you used a condom. Either way, you need to get tested for STDs and you need to abstain from sex with your husband. His health is more important than your pride or personal happiness.

For what its worth, you do seem remorseful. If he is ready for R, be prepared to do whatever he asks to put his mind at ease.

If he were me, I would leave and not look back. You knew that man was going to be between your legs the moment you went with him; you are now just trying to blame the alcohol. Own it, as its the only way you will ever have a chance.
 

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If the roles were reversed wouldn't you expect your husband to be honest with you? By not telling him you are continuing to disrespect him. If you do not tell him that your marriage is now based on lies and betrayal rather than honesty and respect. The choice is yours.

By what you have written you have made it clear that your were seeking out this this other guy and you knew it would probably lead to sex. Did he at least use a condom? You need to get tested for STD's. If you have had sex with your husband since this time then he needs to get tested also. By the way, you are a married woman so why are your going to drinking parties without your husband? Would you want your husband to go to drinking parties without you also?
 

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You need to tell your husband and the chips fall where they may.
You also need to set bun dries for yourself and never cross them. I would suggest the first one be no partying without your husband as previously stated. Good luck. Your gonna need it.
 

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OP- I agree with posters above... sadly you have put yourself in a horrible position. The lie inside of you will eat at you until you tell him Are you able to live with that when you crawl in bed next to him, for the rest of your life?

Also understand that until you fess up, you are lying by omission and subsequently removing his ability to choose if he wants to spend his life with a cheater, remorseful or not.
 

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So, you got played. Happens all the time. What matters now is whether you own up to what happened and show your husband the integrity you believe you have. It's the only honorable way out. Telling him the truth, that is. Without the truth, you have no marriage.
 

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So, you got played. Happens all the time. What matters now is whether you own up to what happened and show your husband the integrity you believe you have. It's the only honorable way out. Telling him the truth, that is. Without the truth, you have no marriage.
One time when I have to disagree with you on that. She knew this guy had an interest in her and by the way she tells the story, I think she felt the same.

She went to the party with her friends and he went with his yet they spent most of the time together.

At that point she's a bit tipsy, and he asks her to go to another party, then she can't find him at the club where the party took place and "she sought him out."

Then they go to the house party and more booze and, well you know the rest. She admitted that she was sober enough to change her mind and she didn't. Her words not mine.

Now she find herself in a pickle and there's a set of twins and her husband who will suffer for it.
 

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I feel soooo badly for you. Not knowing your husband, of course, I have no idea how he would react to hearing news like this. For some men, it is the absolute end....no second chance. They would leave as soon as they got the news. Others might be willing to take a chance on reconciliation depending on how much they love their wives. At this point, there's just no telling. You could definitely start off by banishing this "friend" out of your life permanently. Tell him you made a terrible mistake, and you never want to see him or talk to him again. My guess is, he won't care much. He got your panties off and you gave him what he had no doubt been lusting after for weeks. No reason to remain friends with you anyway.
 

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"You need to think carefully before confessing."

Longwalk,

I usually agree with the views you post and I think you generally give very sound and honest advice.

However, I cannot disagree more with you on this.

There is never a good reason for dishonesty and deception.

She has no right to usurp her BH's right to make informed decisions about his own life.

That would be another, equally great, betrayal of the loyalty and devotion she vowed to her husband.
 
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