[needguidance]

I use to watch a lot of pick up artist videos a while back. So many great tips. There was one where the guy was talking about he had a friend that was married and his wife was having less sex with him. He would complain about it to his friend. I cant remember what his explanation was but he said a woman would never withhold or reject sex from a man when its good/great. My question is why would a wife still do that if it is good/great/excellent/whatever else positive outcome you can put on it? Think thats the problem I am having these days unless she is totally faking it. I dont think she is from the way her body reacts, you cant fight your body. I know from her past reaction that its accurate. I just dont understand the lack of frequency, may be she still has trust issues, I dont know. I need someone elses opinion on this. Needs are being met, hell they are being exceeded (lately I provide a 2-for-1. She gets off twice before I get off once). So wtf.....? And please dont tell me to read MMSL, done that.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Turns out sometimes PUAs are full of it.

If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you, the quality of the sex doesn't really matter. If there are too many resentments/obligations/other people/personality defects that are getting in the way of sex, you can be a pro and it will not matter, and I say this from experience. My husband is the best I've ever had in bed and when we have too many issues in the house, I don't even want to think about sex.

this is very true.at least for me anyway.
my body might be willing but if my head isn't in the game it won't happen.best way to keep getting laid,try to keep your relationship as peaceful and resentment free as possible.

 

[WorkingOnMe]

Funny, I thought the whole PUA thing was about getting them into bed the first time. Repeat business is a whole other thing.

 

[45188]

You know how to get women to lay you? Be AFFECTIONATE without trying to stick your hands in her pants! Help her do the dishes or something. If you have kids, help with them. We get turned on through CONSIDERATION!

Telling us how hot we are all the time isn't going to win you many points - but appreciating us will win you a medal!

 

[I'mAllIn]

I think a common problem with some wives, even if their husbands are amazing lovers, is that they take their husbands (and the sex) for granted. Sure the sex is amazing, but they're tired and the kids need them and the floor needs swept and the dishes washed and the sex will be just as good tomorrow, so they put the husband off for tonight, and the same tomorrow, and the next night. If a wife (or husband for that matter) isn't all that high drive it's all too easy to put "forget" how good it was and put sex off for another time.

 

[SimplyAmorous]

My question is why would a wife still do that if it is good/great/excellent/whatever else positive outcome you can put on it? Think thats the problem I am having these days unless she is totally faking it. I dont think she is from the way her body reacts, you cant fight your body. I know from her past reaction that its accurate. I just dont understand the lack of frequency, may be she still has trust issues, I dont know. I need someone elses opinion on this. Needs are being met, hell they are being exceeded (lately I provide a 2-for-1. She gets off twice before I get off once). So wtf.....?

I can only speak for myself... Doing my dishes is not what turns every woman on. I am not an "Acts of service" - I never needed help doing stuff around the house, I was on it.

I've ALWAYS LOVED SEX, been dreaming about doing it with a guy since I was 11... healthy sex drive....had to masterbate if something brushed up against me at night - always attracted to my Husband, his body type.....I never had any resentments either... happy marriage .

Pleasing me was EVERYTHING TO HIM.... I was satisfied every single time....I was lost in his kisses , it was so good, it went like a flash... I would think "Damn, I wish this could go on forever" Orgasmed every single time...or I'd make him do it again - I needed mine.

But here is the thing..... don't ask me why I was this stupid, I have no clue..... even though he satified me to the moon & back...no feeling on heaven & earth could compare....in my silly brain... I felt like ..."Well... I am good for another so many days!" ... I didn't have that RUSH of hormonal NEED until up 5 days to a week later...

So I needed heated up , ya know -women are like a "slow cooker" they say...especially when we are younger.

Now my husband took this as me having Low desire.. we just never talked about these things :banghead: I was just clueless to realizing this can be REVIVED every day if we wanted and he was so very sensitive to MY DESIRE for him.... which wasn't doing him any favors.

We were just DUMB ...he could have primed me, seduced me more ---revved my engine so I feel....back in the day....I always seemed to have other things on the brain...projects to do, kids, whatever... People need to tease, flirt, seduce , arouse each other & revive the passion daily... If the other is willing to be put in the mood, that is. I believe I would have been - because I always craved physical touch anyway.

I'mAllIn said: even if their husbands are amazing lovers, is that they take their husbands (and the sex) for granted

Very true !!

I DID take my husband and his desire for granted, it was always at my beck & call... and I was NOT getting how he was feeling deep within....he NEVER talked to me about it, he didn't want to "Rock the boat" (his words after opening this topic up a few yrs back).... I have been an initiating wife since the beginning -so he didn't want to push it. I just didn't "get" how men NEED it like that -so often back in the day... till the shoes were on MY FEET. One thing I never was, was too tired..I always had more Pep & energy than he did! Still do.

Live & learn.

 

[anotherguy]

I use to watch a lot of pick up artist videos a while back. So many great tips....

If you are taking 'relationship advice' from pickup artist videos, you are doing it wrong.

Sex is only partly in a woman pants. Most of it is in her head. It is *certainly* in her head as the relationship gets into long term territory. Get in her head, and she will get in YOUR pants. You simply cannot guage her ongoing desire for you simply by the fact that she got wet and had a big O (maybe) last time you had sex. It doesnt work that way.

"...you cant fight your body"

Yes, you can.. and it isnt even a fight. So she cums. Big deal. I bet she O's harder with her vibrator. However, she needs a reason to get fired up routinely - and that isnt necessarily physicality.

'...maybe she has trust issues...'

OK... shrug. Lets go with it. Why would you say that?

 

[EnjoliWoman]

Maybe she picks up on your need for sex vs. intimacy.

 

[jaquen]

I love chocolate cake, but I damn sure don't want it every single day.

It's absurd to suggest that every woman, or hell every man, will want sex frequently just because they enjoy it. Some people have lower drives, for whatever reason, and their lack of desire for frequent sex has nothing to do with the quality.

Is that the case for some? Sure, of course. Who wants to have a ton of mediocre to bad sex? But don't fall into the delusion that this is the case for every single person.

 

[Tall Average Guy]

I think a common problem with some wives, even if their husbands are amazing lovers, is that they take their husbands (and the sex) for granted. Sure the sex is amazing, but they're tired and the kids need them and the floor needs swept and the dishes washed and the sex will be just as good tomorrow, so they put the husband off for tonight, and the same tomorrow, and the next night. If a wife (or husband for that matter) isn't all that high drive it's all too easy to put "forget" how good it was and put sex off for another time.

This in a nutshell is probably one of the biggest problems in a marriage (I know it was in mine) and it goes beyond just sex. Everyone is pulling both you and your spouse everywhich way and demanding your time and effort. Your spouse, because they love you, should understand when you put them last, and they mostly do in the short term. The problems occur when it becomes a habit. You have to work at making your spouse a priority at times.

 

[indiecat]

Some people just enjoy it even more if they space it out, it builds the anticipation. It might be as simple as that.

Like jaquen said, you can love chocolate cake, but to eat it EVERY day, no.

 

[PHTlump]

I cant remember what his explanation was but he said a woman would never withhold or reject sex from a man when its good/great. My question is why would a wife still do that if it is good/great/excellent/whatever else positive outcome you can put on it?

The answer is ... lots of reasons. Maybe the wife resents the husband. A wife's resentments can be substantial, or trivial. But they are often present. And when they are, they will inhibit her libido. Maybe she's just bored.

I just dont understand the lack of frequency, may be she still has trust issues, I dont know. I need someone elses opinion on this. Needs are being met, hell they are being exceeded (lately I provide a 2-for-1. She gets off twice before I get off once).

OK. You're meeting her needs in the bedroom. Are you meeting her needs outside of it? What is her love language? Do you need to bring in extra money? Do more housework? Fix her car? There's probably something.

Also, I think PUAs have great information for their niche. If you are looking to seduce women you don't know into a short-term, sexual relationship, then bone up on what the PUAs have to say. But a marriage is different. You shouldn't "neg" your wife. You can't bluff a higher income/status to your wife. You can't wear a feather boa and "guyliner" to the dinner table. You have to be authentic.

 

[Tall Average Guy]

You know how to get women to lay you? Be AFFECTIONATE without trying to stick your hands in her pants! Help her do the dishes or something. If you have kids, help with them. We get turned on through CONSIDERATION!

Telling us how hot we are all the time isn't going to win you many points - but appreciating us will win you a medal!

I found doing more work or chores to be fools gold. I got all kinds of wonderful comments, but virtually no extra attraction from my wife. She certainly implied that all those chores were what was keeping her libido down, but that was not true (not saying she was lying, as I tend to think she did not really know herself).

 

[wiigirl]

Turns out sometimes PUAs are full of it.

Lmao....so true!

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[CanadianGuy]

I found doing more work or chores to be fools gold. I got all kinds of wonderful comments, but virtually no extra attraction from my wife. She certainly implied that all those chores were what was keeping her libido down, but that was not true (not saying she was lying, as I tend to think she did not really know herself).

"Fools Gold" - yup that's true. "I need you to do more house work so that I can feel more in the mood." said a lot of wives. Then it's "your just doing that to get laid". You can not win that as it seems weak and pathetic on your part. How about "If you have more sex with me I'd be more in the mood for house work" . Why is it always about what you need to do in order for her to feel more in the mood when really isn't it more about what she needs to do? If she was not to include you or your behavior in the equation of what needs to happen in order for her to feel desire I wonder what her answer would be.

 

[COGypsy]

Funny, I thought the whole PUA thing was about getting them into bed the first time. Repeat business is a whole other thing.

:iagree:

PUA's are looking for a short-term conquest and doing it in an environment where the women there are presumably somewhat receptive to being picked up.

Once you're married, it's not the same scenario at all. You have your wife ALL the time--after long days, fights with kids, worries about bills....not just in a bar on Friday night. Like another poster said, trying to "neg" your wife and bluff your finances is probably not a wise idea in a marriage. Unfortunately, that means that you need to invest some time in what actually floats her boat, not what kind of game you can run on her to get her to put out--

 

[Interlocutor]

Doing chores at home has never gotten me laid, ever.

I only do 50% of the housework and parenting work, and I raise hell if she fails to meet her half. She wouldn't dare.

Anyways, how much or little sex we have has had nothing to do with any of this.

Sometimes being nice has gotten me laid, sometimes even being a jerk has helped too... I started getting laid more than I even really wanted when I stopped giving a **** at figuring out my wife like a math problem and when I accepted that we are both individuals, each complex.
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[needguidance]

We all know a pua's goal is short term. The best thing about learning some of the more positives tips is still being able to flirt or engage your SO. Of course this is one of those things exclusive to men because when do women just pick up men? No need. Its like if you can make yourself attractive to other women then naturally you become more attractive to your partner. Its just value.
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[DTO]

Funny, I thought the whole PUA thing was about getting them into bed the first time. Repeat business is a whole other thing.

Exactly. They will move down the line of women finding one open to their moves for however long - the complete antithesis of an enduring relationship.

 

[DTO]

OK. You're meeting her needs in the bedroom. Are you meeting her needs outside of it... Do you need to bring in extra money?

Mega fail.

As long as you have a home, a car, and food in the fridge, not having money is maybe the lousiest reason for not having sex.

I mean, think about what you're saying - she won't have sex because her friend has something she can't afford, your house does not have granite and stainless steel in the kitchen, or whatever.

I would never tolerate that as a reason for bad sex.