The problem is that your wife does not respect you and is behaving very badly - and you have allowed it for years.The medical condition part is genuine. I was the one who took her around hospitals. She was allergetic to weather of the city i worked in.
What is bothering me is why she is continuing these flirtations, hiding them, lieing to me, but doesnt want to lose me at all.
What are my options. I feel i will only feel more pathetic if i confront her because she will not just justify her actions but also will make feel like crap and blame me.
If i emotionally disconnect with her and live in same house, its like a living in a dead house without emotions. How long can i live like that?
I dont think i want separation but cant continue like this either.
If i turn a blind eye and never see her mobile, everything will be good. I will never feel she is emotionally involved with someone else. Or may be the refusal of intimacy and not giving me time were are all symptoms i ignored. I dont know anymore
The problem is that you have been too weak, timid, afraid, passive or whatever, to set / enforce basic behavioral expectations with your wife.
The problem is you.
Why have you tolerated this behavior for so long?