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What is bothering me is why she is continuing these flirtations, hiding them, lieing to me, but doesnt want to lose me at all.

Only one point though, she is dependent on me emotionally and financially. I treat her like a princes. I supported her in her career and everything and anything.
Most of the things you're questioning, you've answered yourself. What you wrote above is a good example.

She's abusing you, emotionally, financially, psychologically. It's hard for you to see because you don't think the way she does, and you actually care for her.

But if YOU did the things to her as she is doing to you, would you say she would be right to divorce you? Of course you would.

Reverse the scenario and tell yourself what advice you would give. I think you're seeing things through a loving, naive filter, but you know the truth; she's an abuser. It just hurts a lot to consider it.
 

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OP you've interpreted your consideration for your wife's needs and freedoms as your greatest act of love for her, and yet - look what's happened to her respect and love for you as a consequence.

You've been misguided.

In my younger days I did these sorts of "unselfish" acts of human kindness and love for a girlfriend of mine. Gave her a place to stay to get away from her abusive parents, paid her rent for a bit, got her on her feet, encouraged her education and independence, and soothed her fears. In the end she despised me. All SHE wanted in her heart was a passionate, present sex partner who took what he wanted. The human kindnesses were forgotten.

I don't know what your wife wants exactly, I can't read her mind, but it's not what you're delivering. The irony being, you keep doing it for HER.
 
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