Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 20 of 968 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
203 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My marriage and relationship with my husband has been suffering for a long time. I know this does not excuse cheating but our marriage has been terrible. My relationship with the man I am seeing started probably crossing the line about ten months ago and kept progressing from there. This situation and our relationship has become increasingly complicated. I don't want to keep living like this so I have decided to tell my husband and get this over with. I know it is going to be ugly and messy but I would like to do this as cleanly as possible as I do care about him. This type of thing is usually found out rather than disclosed where the SO reads texts or emails so I'm wondering if I tell him every detail he asks for no matter how hurtful? Are white lies appropriate here? I would like to limit the fallout with him and everyone else in my life as much as possible.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
493 Posts
Your marriage has been suffering because you are cheating. Your energy is directed ****ing other man.

If you think the other man will take you with open arm then you are a fool. Men code, don't marry a cheater.

No white lies, only the full truth with all the details
You at least owe that to your soon be ex husband
 

· Registered
Joined
·
5,758 Posts
I don't want to keep living like this so I have decided to tell my husband and get this with.
Good. Best to get it over with.

I'm wondering if I tell him every detail he asks for no matter how hurtful?
Why tell him details? To rub his nose in it?

Just tell him you found someone else and that you want a divorce. File the papers and move in with your new squeeze (if he will have you). Less said the better. If he wants more info tell him it wasn’t him it was you, that you just wanted someone different, which is true.

Tell him you cheated on him because you wanted to. Which is also true.

Make a clean break. Have some integrity for a change.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
3,056 Posts
My marriage and relationship with my husband has been suffering for a long time. I know this does not excuse cheating but our marriage has been terrible. My relationship with the man I am seeing started probably crossing the line about ten months ago and kept progressing from there. This situation and our relationship has become increasingly complicated. I don't want to keep living like this so I have decided to tell my husband and get this with. I know it is going to be ugly and messy but I would like to do this as cleanly as possible as I do care about him. This type of thing is usually found out rather than disclosed where the SO reads texts or emails so I'm wondering if I tell him every detail he asks for no matter how hurtful? Are white lies appropriate here? I would like to limit the fallout with him and everyone else in my life as much as possible.
What is your intent for the marriage?
Are you leaving your husband?
Or are you trying to repair it?

The answer to that matters as far as what you tell him.

If you want to end the marriage then just say you're having an affair and then leave.

If you want to repair it, bare your soul. Every detail, every little thought and intention that your husband wants to know.

But that's only the start.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
203 Posts
Your marriage has been suffering because you are cheating. Your energy is directed ****ing other man.

If you think the other man will take you with open arm then you are a fool. Men code, don't marry a cheater.

No white lies, only the full truth with all the details
You at least owe that to your soon be ex husband
Our marriage was suffering way before this started. My relationship with this man isn't like that.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,542 Posts
If he asks something and the truth would be needlessly hurtful
I cannot express enough how agonizing it is to be told “It’s for your own good.” when someone is withholding information or flat out lying about something I had the right to know.

He may not want any, he may want every detail. I feel it’s his right to know whatever it is he wants to know.
 
1 - 20 of 968 Posts
Top