[Mr.PotentialFulfilled]

Anger has ruined my life. It ruined my career, ruined relationships and is harming my family life. I don't get angry much, but when I do it causes damage. No, I don't get physically violent. But the yelling and crazy look on my face do enough harm. My child does not deserve to be scared because I am screaming like a crazy person. When am I going to change? How can I change? I don't want to be angry like this anymore!!!

 

[IsGirl3]

at least you recognize this. have you read books on anger management? seen a therapist? there must be something chemical in you that snaps and takes over beyond reason. are you even aware that you're going crazy when you do?

I can go ballistic too with my kids and feel bad about it, but sometimes I can have a moment of clarity in there and say to my boys, "I'm giving myself a time-out" then go into my room.

You need to catch yourself in the act and get away.

 

[Mr.PotentialFulfilled]

OMG poor kid. how scary for him and anyone in the room. you need help fast before you ruin his life. as least you recognize this. have you read books on anger management? seen a therapist? there must be something chemical in you that snaps and takes over beyond reason. are you even aware that you're going crazy when you do?

I can go ballistic too with my kids and feel bad about it, but sometimes I can have a moment of clarity in there and say to my boys, "I'm giving myself a time-out" then go into my room.

You need to catch yourself in the act and get away.

Ummm, aren't you being a bit more lenient on yourself than me? :scratchhead:
Ruin his life? I would rather die! That's why I am going to see a therapist again. No more of this. Yes, poor kid. I love my child with all my heart.

How can I tell my child (once again), that I was wrong getting so angry. How can I tell my child (once again), that she/he should NOT grow up and get angry like I do? Is that possible?

I am going to seek help today.

 

[mamaZJE]

We, as parents and human beings, always make mistakes. In my opinion you should just apologize to your children, yes again. An apology and dialogue over the incident is better than just sweeping it under the rug, even if you have lost your temper, and then apologized, several times.

Also, you may want to share with your children that you are seeking help. You have a chance to teach them that sometimes even adults need help to fix things, this is a vital life lesson.

Hang in there and good for you for getting help!!

 

[Mavash.]

With professional help this is actually a fairly easy thing to fix. Easy I say in relation to everything else I've had to fix that is. LOL

I had anger issues in relationship to my PTSD. If I got triggered I turned into this person even I didn't recognize. My therapist taught me skills like how to identify/reduce triggers, learn coping behaviors, and how to reduce my stress.

In addition I also started exercising, eating right (no sugar, caffeine, artificial sweetners, etc.) to keep my blood sugar stable helped as well.

I put forth effort to stay calm but it's totally worth it.

 

[IsGirl3]

I am sorry. I should never had said that. Even though it's still here, I'm going to delete the first part. I think I have the same problem as you and need to think harder before I speak and can use help myself. sorry.

 

[hehasmyheart]

That was a nice apology IslandGirl. There is hope for both of you (Island Girl and Mr Potential). You sound sincere in wanting to change.

My daughter has very extreme anger issues, as does my husband. I want to ask both of you (or anyone else with anger issues), did you have anger issues as children? Was it modeled for you by one or both parents? I think it has to be a learned behavior.

Hmmm...I think I'll actually post a question on it.

You'll probably have to work through individual counseling to learn other ways to cope with emotions. Usually, anger is about another emotion that is manifested as anger.