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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just spoke with our son - and I sent my ex a terse email over the holidays when she sent our boys in to wish me a Merry Xmas and after of 8 months of treating me like crap and not communicating with me - she uses our children as pawns to send in a happy xmas wish..so i sent her an email telling her as such and stating that if she truly wanted to wish me a merry xmas she should pick up the telly and call me herself....unbeknownst to me - she forwarded the email on to our boys....what an evil hctib......
 

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Just spoke with our son - and I sent my ex a terse email over the holidays when she sent our boys in to wish me a Merry Xmas and after of 8 months of treating me like crap and not communicating with me - she uses our children as pawns to send in a happy xmas wish..so i sent her an email telling her as such and stating that if she truly wanted to wish me a merry xmas she should pick up the telly and call me herself....unbeknownst to me - she forwarded the email on to our boys....what an evil hctib......
So you're trying to keep the kids out of it and she is putting them right in the middle. So mature and great parenting on her part.

How old are your kids?
 

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It was the truth, right?
 

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Man, nothing worse than the kids being stuck in the middle.

I've been caught in a similar way - when we separated, my stbxw (who wanted to stay in our marital home while separated) would tell our kids that she moved out because "Daddy didn't want her here". The trickle truthing "victim".

So I had to tell her that if she kept that up, I would have no choice but to be TOTALLY honest with the kids.

It really sucks when a parent can't keep the best interests of the kids in mind AT ALL TIMES. It strikes right to the heart of the selfish mindset of the WS. They are so concerned with THEIR reputation and THEIR image, that they will lie or trickle truth their own kids.

Note: Keep a journal of these incidents because they add up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
So you're trying to keep the kids out of it and she is putting them right in the middle. So mature and great parenting on her part.

How old are your kids?
my boys are 18 and 20 - just got text from son confirming what she did (he brought it up) and told me to forget about her - we are not family only me him and his brother (my other son) .

Yea, he sees thrugh her and says just to forget about her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Man, nothing worse than the kids being stuck in the middle.

I've been caught in a similar way - when we separated, my stbxw (who wanted to stay in our marital home while separated) would tell our kids that she moved out because "Daddy didn't want her here". The trickle truthing "victim".

So I had to tell her that if she kept that up, I would have no choice but to be TOTALLY honest with the kids.

It really sucks when a parent can't keep the best interests of the kids in mind AT ALL TIMES. It strikes right to the heart of the selfish mindset of the WS. They are so concerned with THEIR reputation and THEIR image, that they will lie or trickle truth their own kids.

Note: Keep a journal of these incidents because they add up.
I keep record of everything she says and does via email --sick person..
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I guess true enough....my boys certainly saw through this....they saw my intent was to protect them.....yea I guess just let it go....this crap is difficult to deal with at times....
 

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Can you clarify.... what did she send the boys in to do?

Did they wish you merry xmas?

Or did they say that their mother wished you a merry xmas?
 

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sent them in to say...their mother wishes you a merry xmas...
My kids are younger and one of the golden rules which my IC, our mediator, and several books say is that you never use your kids as messengers, even for something as seemingly innocent as "Merry Christmas". It's manipulative. Good thing your boys saw through it.
 

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BT128, I feel ya here. mine's the same, putting the kid in the middle. MIL even went so far as to ask me, via FB comment to say merry xmas to my parents. My parents read it to me. HAAAA. Stbx had to take a trip, she was too depressed not being with me and D, but said she needed to do it for herself, no remorse. Missed out on the kid learning how to link turns on a snowboard. She asks friends if I'm ok.

best part? I asked my D if she was happy to see mom and if they had fun (almost 2 weeks away with me) she said, I guess, it was ok. She's 7. WS just can't see past their own happiness, ever, and as much as they think the story/lie/vindictive email fwding will work, it always fails.

I keep reminding myself - The truth always reveals itself and it all works out in the end!
 

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Oh BT.

What a shame your wife is such a mental midget.

I truly hope you have started on a mission to replace her.....

Happy New Year by the way!

HM64
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
BT128, I feel ya here. mine's the same, putting the kid in the middle. MIL even went so far as to ask me, via FB comment to say merry xmas to my parents. My parents read it to me. HAAAA. Stbx had to take a trip, she was too depressed not being with me and D, but said she needed to do it for herself, no remorse. Missed out on the kid learning how to link turns on a snowboard. She asks friends if I'm ok.

best part? I asked my D if she was happy to see mom and if they had fun (almost 2 weeks away with me) she said, I guess, it was ok. She's 7. WS just can't see past their own happiness, ever, and as much as they think the story/lie/vindictive email fwding will work, it always fails.

I keep reminding myself - The truth always reveals itself and it all works out in the end!
true skater - my boys the same.....i have even developed a theory that we end up beng with the person with the same level of morals we have....and our marriage was bound to fail based on that alone..
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Oh BT.

What a shame your wife is such a mental midget.

I truly hope you have started on a mission to replace her.....

Happy New Year by the way!

HM64
I agree happy - I have and will - had a very difficult Xmas but kept telling myself this will be the worst one and next year's will be different.

Happy New year to you too HM64 and all those on this message board - true sources of help.
 
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