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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How can I get my husband to put down his phone when we go out? Example last night was date night, I was trying to have a conversation with him but he was to busy surfing the web and on Facebook while we waited for our meal. So I just sat there. I have asked him before to put it down but had no luck. I find it very disrespectful, am I alone on this?
 

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I find it incredibly disrespectful as well. Put that effort that goes into building relationships thru your phone, and put it into building relationships with the people right in front of you, and whoa! you'd be onto something!!

My wife isn't as bad as you've described your husband, but I'd prefer she simply wasn't on facebook at all.

I don't think you'd be out of line to at least describe how it makes you feel, or frankly, take it right out of his hand and dump it in his wine glass.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I have expressed how I feel about it. Asking him to leave it home is out of the question, i think he'd rather die. (of course he uses the excuse of what if the kids need to get a hold of us.) My rule at home is no phones in kitchen/dinning room. He hates it he is worse then my teenager about it. It doesn't seem to matter. We have had a rocky time the last 2 years and I'm working hard on improving myself, which is what I wanted to discuss last night but no luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
His
the reason why is we drop the kids off at youth group so we have 90 minutes to kill, so he suggested we go to diner on Tuesday night like a date.... I was more than happy about this, but each Tuesday I seem to get more and more disappointed.
 

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I think your problem extends beyond the phone.

It's just a symptom of other things.

You can't expect to change him (ie have him act more mature in relation to the phone issue). So, you sort of "get" to practice acceptance.
 

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Ask him if wants to just eat or go out on a date. I've looked at the wrong way (a perception problem). We've always gone one at 2 or 3 times a month. Until recently I saw it more as eating, food was the goal. Now I look at it more as her and I and conversation, a date. We both enjoy it more.
 

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It is important to realize his preoccupation with his phone is not a reflection of you. It's an indication of choices he makes and the type of person he is.

If you've really expressed to him the way you feel about the phone issue, than perhaps your next step is to clearly indicate the consequences of phone use. Which could be framed as a reward for not using the phone (rather than a negative act for using it).

Sex, by the way, is the greatest motivating factor for men. Maybe your angle could be "if you keep your nose out of that damn phone for a whole night, I'll do xxxx with my clothes off"
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Saki sex is what I wanted to talk about... We had been sexless for over 2 years (my fault) I want to explain to him what I did to bring it back. I had.a full medical work up stop my meds went to a therapist I did a lot of work on me. I wanted him to see I'm in this 100% and I'm willing to do whatever to save us
 

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Saki sex is what I wanted to talk about... We had been sexless for over 2 years (my fault) I want to explain to him what I did to bring it back. I had.a full medical work up stop my meds went to a therapist I did a lot of work on me. I wanted him to see I'm in this 100% and I'm willing to do whatever to save us
That's commendable and you've gotten advice similar to Saki's in the other thread. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'd want to talk about it in a restaurant and would be reluctant about a date after 2 years.

Good luck, you are just starting out, but you can get there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Wasn't going to into full details but did want to discuss she of it. I just need his attention long enough to get there. I'm gonna try the in bed advice and see if I can get anywhere. I know damage has been done but I don't think we've completely sunk yet
 

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I think your problem extends beyond the phone.

It's just a symptom of other things.

You can't expect to change him (ie have him act more mature in relation to the phone issue). So, you sort of "get" to practice acceptance.
I agree with this. My best friends wife is Bi-Polar and before her diagnosis her maturity level would really take a nosedive and she would never put her phone/laptop/tablet away. She was like an internet addict or something.

I'm not saying thats the problem here, just agreeing it goes beyond the phone.
 

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How can I get my husband to put down his phone when we go out? Example last night was date night, I was trying to have a conversation with him but he was to busy surfing the web and on Facebook while we waited for our meal. So I just sat there. I have asked him before to put it down but had no luck. I find it very disrespectful, am I alone on this?
My wife once picked up her cell phone and sent me a text. It said "Get off the god damn phone and talk to me"
 

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My H and I see this all the time when we go out - families of 6 sitting at a dinner table all with the faces shoved in a phone. We ask ourselves: What's the use? Why waste the $$/time going out?

What I can tell you is when sex (what spells LOVE to a man) is withheld from him for any reason, it's like telling him he's unloved/unwanted. Sounds like you've done a lot of work on yourself and I, too, commend you. Now what you'll have to do is work on recapturing his attention/heart and in doing so you'll also have to find a way to reassure him this time it's going to last. This will be no easy feat being that it sounds like he's already resigned to the fact that any attempt he makes will get him nowhere. Best of luck to you.
 
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