Unless you are osychis, you dont know why another person does something.
Truth is you must file.Hello,
"I slept with someone." These words were softly spoken to me by my wife of almost 19 years. She explained that the gentleman she has been seeing is a friend from an online game they have played for almost 9 years. They decided on a face-to-face meeting about 3 YEARS AGO. She claims the physical part of the relationship has only gone on for "about a year." Here is the real kicker........She never told him she was married!!!!! She states she "came clean" because the guilt was "killing her." Now, i am trying to figure out what to do. I have told her we will try to "repair" the marriage. However, she does still talk to him about every other day, either by text or phone call. When i started going thru a year of her call history and uncovering the immense number of calls per day that she made to him, she switched to an app that you can make calls that are not recorded by our wireless carrier. When her cell phone wasn't attached to her hip, i went thru the text history. I discovered words like "i love you", "i miss you", that were typed several weeks AFTER her confession. When I asked her to read me the texts, she stated that she erased them daily. You should of seen the look when i quoted one of the texts back to her. She knew she got caught lying again. So, this is my life now. I am so incredibly mad at myself for being so ****ING blind. How did i not see this? In my defense, EVERYBODY thinks my wife is an angel. She takes care of her older brother and sister who are not well, she bakes cupcakes for people she works with, she has ALWAYS been a trusting and loving person. It has been almost a month since those words shattered my world. How can i make this marriage work if i dont trust her?
This is a common position for cheaters. They like the advantages, good life, facade before the family and friends, and kids.... but they want to "buy it cheap".... with no fidelity, dedication, or effort on their marriage and especially not upon you. Cheater's Handbook, Chapter 2, "What To Do After D-Day".jsmart said:She goes through the motions with you but her heart belongs to POS.
Why should she stop contacting him? Your actions have shown her that you don’t think what she did was a big deal. She told you what she did and nothing changed. You went straight to working on the marriage and her life went on as it always has.I have told her we will try to "repair" the marriage. However, she does still talk to him about every other day, either by text or phone call.
I said it before, and I'll say it again. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. When my WW refused to dump the OM, I should have been done in the next 5 seconds with any attempt at trying to work on the marriage. Instead, it took me another year to recognize that she had no intentions of a "working" marriage with me, she only wanted me to pay the bills, provide a built-in baby sitter so she could go phuck him. She didn't want our marriage, she only wanted what it could provide, that she knew damned well wouldn't be provided by the OM (who already had a wife and family).Her staying in contact the OM proves that she didnt confess out of guilt, and proves she doesnt want to make your marriage work.
Let me clue you in on something. I went Shock and Awe. I told everybody. The affair was over within a month. The OM liked having a wife and a girl friend, but he couldn't handle having two wives. However, the marriage was over. I wasted a year of my life. Should have been 5 seconds. Shock and Awe, and haul a$$.jsmart said:It is the bold, decisive BHs that go Shock and Awe, that end up with WWs that scramble to save the marriage.