I have been with my husband for 15 years, 10 married. We have 2 young children. I am a SAHM and he works as a manager for a large construction company. His last job finished and instead of picking up and moving cross country, we both decided for the kids he would work out west for the 8 months and we would stay east. He left in June and we went out there for the summer but came back in time for school. It was hard but we were surviving. We went out for another visit in September and something was off but I couldn't place my finger on it. Then he started making excuses why he didn't call or answer the phone for an entire day. Hit or miss, sometimes he'd be fine other days he gave me that off feeling. He recently came home for Thanksgiving for the first time since June and things had changed. He would hardly talk to me, went out almost every night for a drink, and wouldn't touch me, which for him is unheard of. He went back west and didn't call the day he got back. He called the next day and I asked him where he was he said "out and about". I told him this wasn't working. 2 days later he confessed that he had slept with someone else. He flew home the next day so we could talk about it. He says he loves me, he doesn't want to throw away 15 years together but he doesn't know if we can be together. He walks a fine line with alcohol in general and he has been drinking alot lately. I have never seen him the way he was. He looked just looked so lost and he most definitely is depressed. He is a proud man that shows little to no emotion in general and doesn't like to ask for help but he even said he needed help. The affair is over. He left to go back west Sunday and he called a counselor today. His first appointment will be Wednesday. I am so torn with all of this. I completely trusted him going out there never even thought infidelity would be something we'd have to address. I did fear he would turn to alcohol though. I told him I want us to work things out, I truly love him that unconditionally. I told him we need to move out there so we can work on us or he needs to quit and move back to us. Neither are off the table as of now, but we have left it as, He gets counselling for the next 3 weeks, since he is due back for Xmas and then we take the next step from there. He says he wants to talk to the counselor first and then we can go to counseling together if that is what the counselor recommends. I feel numb at this point and am trying to just get through the day for my own sanity and the sake of my kids. Weirdly enough I am not mad at him, at least yet. The last 4 days have been a whirlwind of emotion. I don't even know what my question is at this point except for am I going insane to not think twice about forgiving him and to stay married?