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I keep texting my husband who two days ago said he wanted a divorce cause he doesnt love me anymore. We have four kids. He is out of town on a business trip and wont talk to me. I keep texting him and calling and he wont pick up or respond. Its driving me insane. Im going to a lawyer tommorow and i want him to tell me not to so bad. He wants me too i guess. I feel so freaking pathetic begging someone who doesnt want me all of a sudden. I sit on my hands saying im not going to do it again, then i do. GOD help me, im sure he thinks im pathetic.
 

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So sorry you are going through this. I swear, all our pride goes out the window when this happens. Things will get better. Don't text him. Write him a long letter instead to occupy your time, and then dont send it to him. Keep yourself busy.
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ps.. read the 180..its for you...not him though.

Concentrate on you.

Sometimes the benefit of 'letting them go' is they do think of you.

But this is for YOU.

So sorry you are joining us here at TAM
 

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I don't think it happens over night. Over time they morph. Or maybe they just start showing their real colors.

Take a look at the 180 link in my signature block below. That's how you need to start interacting with him.

Call up a friend or family member who will support you. Text that person if you need to text someone. The idea of you writing him a letter is a good idea as well. Just do not send it. Keep it for yourself or delete it.
 

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I know, it is hard to stop yourself from pleading & begging. However, it really does not help. Really, truly, it does not help & in a lot of cases, can make the spouse who is leaving more stubborn.

Just concentrate on breathing, in and out. Big deep breaths.
 

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i dont know about you. but its always in the evening/night i feel the urge to text. someone on here once said never text if youre wearing pyjamas. i would also say never text after 7pm. If you feel tempted, please post on here first. ok? i know its tough but you will feel better for not giving in. I cant tell you how often i texted my H and the next morning felt like crap about it!
 

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Use TAM as a venting / sounding board. This place is a gold mine of support and advice. Dont be afraid to say whatever you feel you need to. If someone comes along and slaps you down, it will be well meant and it's better than doing something irreversible or that makes a bad situation worst.

Look at things you genuinely want/need to change. Not things that will make him happier with you but will make you happier with yourself.
 
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By now you texts are just you repeating yourself. You've said it all and he's heard it all. Nothing is mattering and it's all garbling and your setting yourself up for rejection at every single text.

Knock it off. Get yourself respect back. Start the 180 now hard core and go dark.

Listen to these people girl...they know what they are talking about...as do I...
Have you had enough rejection from him yet? Take your self control back and yes...see a lawyer. Follow through.
 

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Listen to what everyone here has said and don't text him anymore. Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all been there. I know I sent email after email to my ex and always hated myself after sending it, but I couldn't stop either. It always does more harm then good, but what is done is done. Wipe the slate clean and start over.
 

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And just to add, don't beat yourself up over any little slips or moments of weakness, they are natural and we all have them.. I've been known to be fine and happy one minute and fivbe minutes later have sent a text I know is a bad idea. When you have a weak moment, post on here (preferably before acting upon it) and we will beat you instead; in the nicest possible way of course! :D
 

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When my fWH gave me the 'I don't love you anymore, maybe I never did' speech, he was in another country (with another woman so it turned out).
I bombarded him with texts. It did no good, he did not respond to them. If only I had known then, what I know now, I would have done a 180 and started the healing process much quicker.
Sure, you feel shattered, your world feels like it is caving in, but bombading, begging & pleading has never helped in this situation. A lot of us have been there, a lot of us made mistakes, we want to help you avoid some of the mistakes we made.
I know turning your phone off it too hard, you will be clutching it like a life preserver, hoping against hope that he sends a text telling you he changed his mind, it was all a big mistake. Just try really hard to resist sending texts to him.
 

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I am guilty of the txts and emails when he left. It was rough. Its not healthy. Your not alone! I still check my phone constantly! But NC is best. Give him a chance to miss you.
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