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Ok so let's be real here, what are the chances he will stop? Does he even want to stop? I doubt it. So you either accept it or move on. You have infrequent sex, no matter the reason, he needs to take care of his business. You disagree with the type of porn and that really isn't for you to decide. You are stuck on this "lie" but it isn't going to change. Time to move on and make a decision.
 

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I actually think you are very right to feel the way you do. With your H using porn since the age of 12 he will most certainly be addicted. Not only that, but it will also more than likely be the cause of him not being able to have a normal sex life with you, his wife. This latter is for example a massive problem with men in their twenties. They simply cannot get an erection with a “real” woman. As a man of my age this simply did not exist, it was not a problem so I enjoyed probably the healthiest sex life possible with my wife.

Porn use by those as young as twelve is also a very big problem and a problem that’s getting worse. To the extent that there are Governments considering putting the onus on the porn providers and enablers to prevent children using it as well as the parents. That is, Governments are considering legislating that ISPs block porn unless specifically asked for by an adult. There are cases now where gangs of boys as young as 12 and 13 raping little girls. This is a massive problem and I think you are doing your duty as a mother to shield your children from it all and as such you should be applauded, I certainly do. I feel for those children who don't have mothers such as you to protect them.

I also feel for you in that your husband isn’t shoulder to shoulder with you on this. It must be similar to having an alcoholic as a husband and worrying that your children will start drinking and become one as well.

On top of all that you have the betrayal of your husband's lies and deceits to deal with as well which is a whole big thing in and of itself. Deceit about the use of porn is one thing, lying about it is a massive betrayal.



But what can you do? Boundaries are perhaps the way ahead, read up on boundaries in marriage. But goodness knows what you do if you assert some, you probably already have, and he just ignores and breaks them.

He wont change unless he sees he has a problem. So maybe educate him. Find out all you can about how porn affects young children and sex in marriage, print it off and give it to him to read. Find out about support groups on the subject, it’s such a big problem and getting bigger I’m sure support groups are springing up to provide help for mothers and wives.

Other drivers for change are pain, fear of loss and fear of failure. If for example you demonstrate to him what it means to lose his family that may cause him pain enough to change his ways. Maybe tell him you want a six month separation to sort things out and you’ll review how you go forward in six months time. Let him live his life without constant access to you and the children and see if that causes him enough pain and fear of loss to initiate change.
I find that response a bit extreme! Keeping the children away? Protecting them from what? She never said he had such a porn issue that it was interfering with their kids. They don't have sex a lot because of her not him. I think it would be a mistake separating the family like that over this. Go to counseling before you do anything that drastic. I get you are pissed at him but don't involve your kids in this. Yes, they shouldn't find any of the porn, just like they shouldn't walk in on you two having sex. I'm sure you make that a private thing so this should be the same.
 

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A) How did this enter the discussion?

B) and despite how many women and feminists have claimed this, the truth be told that many other wise normal women secretly desire to be submissive and dominated in bed.

No wonder there are so many confused men. Those "nice guys" who are so boring for not just taking control and ravishing her like she really wants because they have been conditioned to think doing so is degrading to a woman.
So very true! Being dominated in the bedroom is so hot, yet a lot of people make you feel wrong about it. Now we have that 50 shades of grey book and suddenly, it might be ok.
 

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Costa200 said, "I'm actually a teacher. I work with teens everyday. Anyone who thinks that they can "protect them" from porn is deluded. This woman's child is 11. I'm willing to bet everything you want that he has already seen porn in one shape or the other at that age."

This is one of the precise reasons my 12 year old son is 'Homeschooled' (I'm a College Grad so you don't need to question his curriculum or my ability to teach him) I am SO glad you are not his teacher. You most certainly would NOT be a good role model for him.
So, based on the fact that my son and I talk about EVERYTHING including sex, he has NOT been exposed to porn. He does not have a cell phone or a computer in his room like most kids his age, and that is usually how they get exposed nowadays.
I'm not stupid, (or prudish either) I've done my homework and I've studied for FOUR YEARS the effects of porn on Men, Women, Children, Marriages and it's NOT a good thing. It destroys. And I don't need a college degree to know that.
So your son has no friends? You don't think any of his friends have phone s and he might have seen something on there? Unless you shelter him completely from the outside world, there is a chance for him to be exposed to it. You can't protect him forever. My parents were very strict and I always found a way to do what I wanted.
 

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Being dominated in the bedroom = rape? Then you must be saying a lot of women want to be raped, which is not true. If a women WANTS to be dominated then it is definitely not rape. There is nothing wrong with being more aggressive and everything doesn't have to be sweet, slow love making. If you think I am the only one then go read about all the women running out buying hand cuffs and toys, after reading 50 shaded of grey. When you get married you should have enough trust in you spouse to be able to explore your sexual fantasies without being ashamed of it.
 

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apparently you dont know what ravish means.

rav·ish/raviSH/
Verb:

Seize and carry off (someone) by force.
(of a man) Force (a woman or girl) to have sexual intercourse against her will.

so yes. Rape.
Well, I was actually commenting more on the dominance part he was mentioning. Either way, I don't think that is really what he means. He means instead of your husband saying, "honey do you want to make love tonight?" he should just grab his wife, throw her on the bed and give her best O of her life! Sounds like fun to me!
 
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