There it is in a nutshell. No blame here, just a mistake to marry someone in hopes they'd change. If he KNEW she was like that, and it was THAT important to him, then he shouldn't have done it. I think she's unrealistic (expectation wise) that she could find someone who wouldn't watch it to some extent and has a high sex drive, but if that's what she wants, that's what she wants, and nothing may change that short of her losing out on a lot of otherwise good guys because they do what comes fairly naturally. Or maybe taking the time to UNDERSTAND why men are like this, and just accept it (given that it actually doesn't detract from physical intimacy in the marriage).The big mistake he made was marrying a woman who reacts this way to his watching porn. He should have never even put himself in the position of having to lie about something he's been doing since he was 12. He'd have been better off partnering with a woman who's ideas, and thoughts, on the matter weren't nearly as extreme as yours.
W and I were talking about this last night. She shrugs it off and does not "get" women who have an issue with it. She understands it just as she understands why the sun is coming up tomorrow. Just as she understands that her reading "50 shades" is essentially the same thing wrapped in a more acceptable written "book package" (and she did just start reading it...holy cow, how did she get even more horny than she already naturally is?!!!!). Her understanding of this, me, my desires, herself and her desires is what makes our sex life so incredibly awesome and fulfilling. We share everything, and just that alone makes it even harder to keep our hands off each other. The best, most satisfying sex in the world is with someone who GETS you, UNDERSTANDS you and themselves, is not insecure about it because they actually do understand it, and won't judge you (or themselves) for it. Not easy to find, but when you do, you'll KNOW it. And it's bliss.