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It will ALWAYS be something. His ex's medical condition has nothing to do with your relationship or the fact that he is treating you like crap. It doesn't even sound like you have a relationship anyway. You are just providing him with a free place to sleep.

Get rid of this leech and stop looking for excuses to stay with him!
 

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Discussion Starter #85
Emotional blackmail? Really. How are you trapped exactly.

He cheated on YOU! You have kids to look after, why are you spending so much time and energy on this pathetic, guiltless A'hole.......

When are you going to put YOU and YOUR KIDS FIRST!!!!!!
Although I did find an online dating profile, I have not been able to prove an actual, physical affair has happened.

I feel trapped because now I feel he needs my support. He doesn't have any immediate family here. He's from the East Coast originally and we live in the Midwest. There's a little boy too.

I'm probably that most desperate and pathetic case ya all have seen on here to date.
 

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I feel trapped because now I feel he needs my support.
I'm curious as to why you feel this way. Has he asked for your support? Has he even come home yet?

How did you find out about the ex's "dire" medical situation? Do you even know 100% that it is the truth and not some manipulation to keep you?

Most importantly, if the situation were reversed, would he be there to support you?
 

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Discussion Starter #88
I'm curious as to why you feel this way. Has he asked for your support? Has he even come home yet?

How did you find out about the ex's "dire" medical situation? Do you even know 100% that it is the truth and not some manipulation to keep you?

Most importantly, if the situation were reversed, would he be there to support you?
He has not come home yet. I havent seen him in 3 days now. Well, he's home sleeping while I am at work but he leaves before I get home.

He has talked of her Cancer since we got together. I have never met her before. I asked to meet her one time but he said she didn't want to meet me.

I don't know if he would be here if the roles were reversed.
 

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Although I did find an online dating profile, I have not been able to prove an actual, physical affair has happened.
YOU have 100% proof of his cheating after ONLY 7 months. Really, that's ALL YOU NEED! Come on...


I feel trapped because now I feel he needs my support. He doesn't have any immediate family here. He's from the East Coast originally and we live in the Midwest. There's a little boy too.
I've noticed you give headlines but don't follow it up with more detail information until other tamers push you for more. Care to explain the meaning of Trapped?

Where's does the little boy come into this? Where has he been for the last 7 months?


I'm probably that most desperate and pathetic case ya all have seen on here to date.
Sorry, do you really want me to answer that one.....
Okay, your pathetic, why? because you NEED to snap out of this continuous loop you keep feeding yourself with his BS.

I hope I made you slightly angry there....that was the whole idea!
 

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He has not come home yet. I havent seen him in 3 days now. Well, he's home sleeping while I am at work but he leaves before I get home.

He has talked of her Cancer since we got together. I have never met her before. I asked to meet her one time but he said she didn't want to meet me.

I don't know if he would be here if the roles were reversed.
and did you ask him why he didn't want you to meet her????

Hold on, how do you know he's really separated/divorced from this wife????

How come she has never asked about you and your kids????

......
 

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He has no clue I plan on leaving.

WRONG ABOUT! You had to dig out the dating websites? YOU MUST have left behind a history trail of webpages you visited. Come on....

Remember when he's at home you're at work and he's at work you're at home. He's had plenty of time to discover your plans. Is this same PC you log in to TAM? I bet that's yes.....
 

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Discussion Starter #93
and did you ask him why he didn't want you to meet her????

Hold on, how do you know he's really separated/divorced from this wife????

How come she has never asked about you and your kids????

......
He was never married to her. They were together 15 years though. She knows about me. I have spoke with her over the phone. Just never personally met her. She has met my daughter when my Boyfriend took her with him to a kid's birthday party one time.

The ex does indeed know he and I are together.
 

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Discussion Starter #94
WRONG ABOUT! You had to dig out the dating websites? YOU MUST have left behind a history trail of webpages you visited. Come on....

Remember when he's at home you're at work and he's at work you're at home. He's had plenty of time to discover your plans. Is this same PC you log in to TAM? I bet that's yes.....
He and I have our own PC's. Each one is password protected. I cannot get on his and he cannot get on mine. Because I could not check his browser history and because I wanted to find evidence of wrong-doing, I began an internet search for free online dating sites. I had to make myself a fake profile to get on to search through the members but within a few sort searches, I found him on two.

There is no trail for him to find because it was done on a completely different computer.
He really has no clue.
 

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Discussion Starter #95
Okay, he's out. It's done. My friend just saw him out with another girl. I told him to get his **** and get the fvck out of my house.
 

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Well, at least you have proof. Do not feel guilty or beat yourself up over this. He was caught red-handed. Kicking him to the curb is your first step on the road to a much, much better life.

Please don't look at this in a negative light. You were handed a gift. Can you imagine how this might have played out if you had married him? Breathe a sigh of relief.

Now go get the counseling you need. I assure you, if you work on yourself, you will attract the right type of men. But make YOU a priority!
 

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Discussion Starter #97
He texted me back and told me he was with his ex. That she had never been to a certain place before on the motorcycle and she wanted to go on a ride there before her time was up.

I told him she was his EX not his current and he had no right to do this behind my back. I've not heard back.

I know he has to work tonight and he knows I work in the morning. I'm sure he will move his stuff out while I am at work. At least that is what I am expecting to happen. I don't think he's going to try to talk me into keeping him.
 

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He texted me back and told me he was with his ex. That she had never been to a certain place before on the motorcycle and she wanted to go on a ride there before her time was up.

I told him she was his EX not his current and he had no right to do this behind my back. I've not heard back.

I know he has to work tonight and he knows I work in the morning. I'm sure he will move his stuff out while I am at work. At least that is what I am expecting to happen. I don't think he's going to try to talk me into keeping him.
1. You can't leave HIM alone in the house! YOU or someone must be there to make sure he only takes his belongings with him.

2. Also make sure you change the locks after he's gone.

3. Contact your neighbours and inform that if he ever turns up when your not there, they must call you or the police (worst case scenario here)
 

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His ex, the one who will be dead anyday now, was riding on the back of a motorcycle? Sorry, I'm just very skeptical over any of his excuses. But as someone said above, you were handed a gift. You saw his profile on TWO dating sites. That tells me he is a moron to expose himself like that or he was confident enough to know he could conjure up some lie to tell you and you'd believe him. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks you are an idiot? No, you certainly don't. And it doesn't matter if he had a physical affair or not while on that site. The only thing you need to know was that the intent was there.

Tell him to move out. He will go to his ex's house - guaranteed. He will not be homeless. He can take care of her and after she passes, he will take care of their son. And in the meantime, you will be taking care of YOU! He is not destitute. Trust me. And if he doesn't have any other friends to support him in his time of need, that is his problem. Not yours.

You can do this, January.
 

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Discussion Starter #100
Last night just after midnight, his phone called me. I don't know if it was accidental or if he did it on purpose but he wasn't at work last night. He was with a girl. And while I couldn't hear actual conversation because of the noise, I could hear his voice and a females voice. They were laughing and having a great time.

I listened about 5 minutes and hung up. I was so hurt. That should have been me. He hasn't been over yet to get his stuff. I've not heard from him at all.
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