Joined
·
43 Posts
I just found this site a few days ago and have been reading posts to kind of get the lay of the land. First I am so thankful a forum like this exists- I thought I was all alone.
I think I just need to vent more than anything. I am so upset and too embarrassed to tell my friends and family what is really going on.
My husband lost his job a little over a month ago- and it was a great job. I have always known he drinks I just never realized the extent. He has done a really good job hiding things and apparently is a terrific liar because I bought his stories hook line and sinker. His lies have recently begun unravelling.
He didn't get laid off- he was terminated for being under the influence at work- which he denied and at first said he just looked tired and maybe didn't brush his teeth that morning. That has evolved into: he drinks what he drinks in front of me but has a much bigger hidden drinking habit. He has been drinking out of hidden bottles at home, in the driveway before he comes in the house, even before work(and safety was a big deal at his job). On top of that he admits to regularly drinking and driving and that he drank secretly and then drove with me in the car.
I had noticed mood differences at times but I think I was just in denial. I am the unhappy recipient of thousands of dollars of medical bills (which I am stuck with since he doesn't work) from us trying to find out what was "wrong" with him. At one point I was physically sick believing he was having mini seizures or had MS. He let me go through all of that stress and worry knowing the entire time what the problem really was.
I am absolutely shattered. I don't know what to do- I feel like I am just frozen. I thought we were so happy and secure- and now that's all gone. I don't know if he can get another job. I don't think I can support us both financially. He has pulled this in the past- only I didn't know the extent of everything- I just knew he kept getting "laid off", and it was miserable. I have been the one to take the initiative and update his resume and get him every job he has had. I can't do it anymore so his resume is just sitting here staring back at me. I just can't. I'm too tired and I am too sad and I am too angry.
I don't trust him at all now- I won't even get in the vehicle if he is driving and I won't let him drive my car.
I just wish I knew what I could do to make this right or to rewind time and see everything sooner.
Sometimes he seems sorry. But I don't believe him. Yesterday I came home from working all day and I could tell he had already been drinking because of his breath. He got pissy and said it was just a beer. I checked my credit card statement today and turns out he used it at the liquor store yesterday. Now I have to take the credit card away. He is sleeping in until noon- six hours after I leave for work. I am fed up, but I also love him very much and don't want to lose my marriage. It almost feels like I am dealing with two different people.
Sorry for all the whining- I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this. I don't have a friend or family member within 12 hours of here and I don't think I could bear to tell anyone anyway. This is so hard. Thank you for letting me vent.
I think I just need to vent more than anything. I am so upset and too embarrassed to tell my friends and family what is really going on.
My husband lost his job a little over a month ago- and it was a great job. I have always known he drinks I just never realized the extent. He has done a really good job hiding things and apparently is a terrific liar because I bought his stories hook line and sinker. His lies have recently begun unravelling.
He didn't get laid off- he was terminated for being under the influence at work- which he denied and at first said he just looked tired and maybe didn't brush his teeth that morning. That has evolved into: he drinks what he drinks in front of me but has a much bigger hidden drinking habit. He has been drinking out of hidden bottles at home, in the driveway before he comes in the house, even before work(and safety was a big deal at his job). On top of that he admits to regularly drinking and driving and that he drank secretly and then drove with me in the car.
I had noticed mood differences at times but I think I was just in denial. I am the unhappy recipient of thousands of dollars of medical bills (which I am stuck with since he doesn't work) from us trying to find out what was "wrong" with him. At one point I was physically sick believing he was having mini seizures or had MS. He let me go through all of that stress and worry knowing the entire time what the problem really was.
I am absolutely shattered. I don't know what to do- I feel like I am just frozen. I thought we were so happy and secure- and now that's all gone. I don't know if he can get another job. I don't think I can support us both financially. He has pulled this in the past- only I didn't know the extent of everything- I just knew he kept getting "laid off", and it was miserable. I have been the one to take the initiative and update his resume and get him every job he has had. I can't do it anymore so his resume is just sitting here staring back at me. I just can't. I'm too tired and I am too sad and I am too angry.
I don't trust him at all now- I won't even get in the vehicle if he is driving and I won't let him drive my car.
I just wish I knew what I could do to make this right or to rewind time and see everything sooner.
Sometimes he seems sorry. But I don't believe him. Yesterday I came home from working all day and I could tell he had already been drinking because of his breath. He got pissy and said it was just a beer. I checked my credit card statement today and turns out he used it at the liquor store yesterday. Now I have to take the credit card away. He is sleeping in until noon- six hours after I leave for work. I am fed up, but I also love him very much and don't want to lose my marriage. It almost feels like I am dealing with two different people.
Sorry for all the whining- I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this. I don't have a friend or family member within 12 hours of here and I don't think I could bear to tell anyone anyway. This is so hard. Thank you for letting me vent.