I gave a second chance at our relationship, he said he would stop calling me dumb, stupid and etc and work on his problems. It lasted about 2-3 days. While i do see a change in him, being alot sweeter and more thoughtful/trying to help out i feel like he's just doing it for now. Until im back into the same rut again.
He never used to by me gifts now he's popping them out of his rear end. He later says that i should be grateful for getting the gifts and he does it to make me happy and that makes him happy. i tell him that i want him to want to give me gifts if he feels i deserve them, not just to make me happy and make him happy. He says it doesnt make sense.
He said he would move to california with me if i gave him custody of our child, he wont give me custody no matter where i go with him because then i could just "leave him with nothing". After he was leaning towards california with me after i start buddying up to him he takes it back says he would never be happy there and that we should now move to arkansas with his family. Because his family is more financially stable. While i agree his family makes alot more money then mine, could offer alot more support money wise but i feel that family should not be thought of as what they can give us, more of what we can share with them. I feel like my daughter would have a better life surrounded by people with good attitudes rather then people with money.
I've decided mostly that come january im taking action to gain full custody of my child and move back to my hometown. I havent told him yet though. He keeps asking if i love him and i keep telling him yes, leading him on. I know if i do tell him many possible bad things could happen. He's threaten to kill me, or himself if i took his child away, he would cut off any help towards rent/other care for our child. He holds grudges like no tomorrow and would not drop it.
Sometimes i feel like maybe i should keep giving him a chance but i just hate his personality and the way he views life. We where young when we got together and i told him i've changed and didnt view things the same as i did when i was younger. He told me that i could never hold any promises if i looked at life like that and changed how i saw best now. I should just keep putting up with problems because i agreed to them in the beginning with blind eyes.
He constantly wants me to cuddle with him if i dont he calls me a jerk, if i dont hang out with him when he wants to hang out im a jerk, if i dont want him around when i shop with my friends(which he's always hated shopping before just wanted to go to spend time with me) again im a jerk and my firends are jerks too, he gets sad when i dont come home for lunch everyday.
I feel like i need to reread/remind myself everyday of the things he does and the person he really is or i just keep falling back into him. I would move right now but i dont have the funds until after tax time.
