I could really use some advice.
I am 28 years old and my wife is 26. We have been married almost 8 years and together 9. We have 3 beautiful daughters together that we both love and cherish. My wife is a stay at home mother and does some babysitting as well. I work outside of them home and this is how it has been our entire marriage.
I love my wife very much or at least who she used to be. She used to be funny, sweet, kind, understanding and loving to everyone. She is very outgoing and can hold a conversation with anyone. She has always been a wonderful mother to our girls until recently.
Our marriage has seen its fair share of problems before now. From financial struggles to the both of us having emotional affairs in the past. We have been able to work through our problems and always come out better on the other side.
This past year has been very rough. In may we moved and my aunt, who I was very close to passed away very suddenly. Our family dog passed in the early summer as well. About 4 months ago my wife started spending time away from home and hanging out with old high school friends. At the same time she expressed to me that she was unhappy in our marriage but refused to work on things. She started becoming distant from me, our daughters, her family, my family and old friends. She began consuming herself with her social life. I tried to get her to open up bit the harder I would try the more she would pull away. Finally she told me that she wanted her independence and didn't want to have to answer to anyone anymore. Soon after this she told me that she was not in lobe with me anymore. I was blown away, became emotional and angry. Asked if there was another man and she denied it.
At this point I decided to sit back and observe. She became more distant her actions more selfish. She also started making mistakes. About two weeks ago I confronted her with a reasonable amount of evidence. She admitted to me that she had been having an emotional and sexual affair with another man. She said that she has developed feelings for him and that she never intended for this to happen. I reacted like a typical man and became very angry and had an outburst, made her leave and so on. She dis come back later that night and I was able to get more details out of her.
I exposed the affair to close family members on both sides. Told her that either she breaks it off I'm the girls and I are gone. I also confronted her "boyfriend" via the phone very civilly and told him to back off and he apologized and agreed.
My wife says that she has ended things. She doesn't go out anymor either. However she days that she still doesn't love me and that she wants a divorce. She seems to have sense of urgency. Looking for a job outside of the home, looking for an apartment and telling me that she will agree to anything I want when it comes to the divorce. She has also set a target move out date of the first of the year.
She shows no remorse and has become a completely different woman. I lobe my wife and would like nothing more than to identify our problems and began working toward reconciliation but I can't seem to reason with her or get the truth from her.
I could really use some help here.
Thanks for reading.
I am 28 years old and my wife is 26. We have been married almost 8 years and together 9. We have 3 beautiful daughters together that we both love and cherish. My wife is a stay at home mother and does some babysitting as well. I work outside of them home and this is how it has been our entire marriage.
I love my wife very much or at least who she used to be. She used to be funny, sweet, kind, understanding and loving to everyone. She is very outgoing and can hold a conversation with anyone. She has always been a wonderful mother to our girls until recently.
Our marriage has seen its fair share of problems before now. From financial struggles to the both of us having emotional affairs in the past. We have been able to work through our problems and always come out better on the other side.
This past year has been very rough. In may we moved and my aunt, who I was very close to passed away very suddenly. Our family dog passed in the early summer as well. About 4 months ago my wife started spending time away from home and hanging out with old high school friends. At the same time she expressed to me that she was unhappy in our marriage but refused to work on things. She started becoming distant from me, our daughters, her family, my family and old friends. She began consuming herself with her social life. I tried to get her to open up bit the harder I would try the more she would pull away. Finally she told me that she wanted her independence and didn't want to have to answer to anyone anymore. Soon after this she told me that she was not in lobe with me anymore. I was blown away, became emotional and angry. Asked if there was another man and she denied it.
At this point I decided to sit back and observe. She became more distant her actions more selfish. She also started making mistakes. About two weeks ago I confronted her with a reasonable amount of evidence. She admitted to me that she had been having an emotional and sexual affair with another man. She said that she has developed feelings for him and that she never intended for this to happen. I reacted like a typical man and became very angry and had an outburst, made her leave and so on. She dis come back later that night and I was able to get more details out of her.
I exposed the affair to close family members on both sides. Told her that either she breaks it off I'm the girls and I are gone. I also confronted her "boyfriend" via the phone very civilly and told him to back off and he apologized and agreed.
My wife says that she has ended things. She doesn't go out anymor either. However she days that she still doesn't love me and that she wants a divorce. She seems to have sense of urgency. Looking for a job outside of the home, looking for an apartment and telling me that she will agree to anything I want when it comes to the divorce. She has also set a target move out date of the first of the year.
She shows no remorse and has become a completely different woman. I lobe my wife and would like nothing more than to identify our problems and began working toward reconciliation but I can't seem to reason with her or get the truth from her.
I could really use some help here.
Thanks for reading.
