[Laurentium]

I know it won’t last forever

I'm glad you said that, because it was what I was thinking, until I got to those words. It is a short-term problem, ultimately.

I can imagine that deep down, the girls feel abandoned by their bio mother, remarrying and not having any space for them. Each of them needs a room, a place to belong. So I can understand their anger. A bad thing has been done to them by her (as I understand your story). Do they talk about her, and if so, how?

Of course there is no point in you getting into conflict with the bio mother.

we just can’t risk leaving them to just get on with it because I’d genuinely fear we would not come home to a house!

It might be worth trying it! Maybe your fears are exaggerated. ... Do they share a room, or do they have a room each at your house?

Im now started to hate on my husband for what feels like I’m putting my life on hold because of his kids?

Of course you are doing a very generous thing. What happens when you try to talk with him about all this? There may not be any easy answer. The girls are likely to continue to feel angry about what has happened in their lives. But how does the conversation between you and him go?

 

[Laurentium]

far as conversation between me and my husband goes he doesn’t feel like he has much of a choice about the whole situation

Well, I guess that's true!

All I am saying is that the reason they act "irresponsible" and fight a lot, is because of what their bio mother has done.

So perhaps you can come with a way to air your thoughts that doesn't sound selfish? Keep it short. No complaining about anyone. No complaining about them, her, or him. Along the lines of "we also need to set aside some time for us. What do you think?"

What you can't do is demand that he should change them, or her.

 

[Laurentium]

We did try this a few weeks ago, we went away for 2 nights in our camper van and we arrived back to a mountain of complaining and sorting out arguments the kids and bio mom had over that period of 2 days, one being that the children were made to sleep on the sofas! and we just thought what is the point if this is going to happen every time.

Well done for trying it! Did you have a good time while away?

"sorting out arguments", between who?

"what is the point?" Don't give up on this. I think you did the right thing.

Send them to Laurentium

He will straighten them out, I promise.

I don't work with teenagers. If this was my case, I'd work with the couple.

 

[Laurentium]

the arguments were a lot between the youngest and bio mom

Not for you to sort out, then!! She's still the bio mom's daughter.