[steph1413]

I don't exactly know how to deal with this relationship and my trust problems anymore. What happened was that a few months ago I found out that my boyfriend had a crush on a girl from work (she no longer works there) and they had been texting. When confronted with it, he admitted it and told her they could no longer be friends. I had this strange suspicion that something was going on so I checked his phone this past weekend.... he had talked to twice in the week. I immediately confronted him and he apologized and said it was because he heard she was coming back to work and wanted to lay ground rules. It also turns out that they have been friends on facebook. He deleted her friendship and phone number. He gave me his passwords to his cell phone account. I looked last night and saw that he was possibly texting her just last night and the night before. He denies that it was her but refused to tell whose number it was saying that it was too much. I have a 4 year old daughter who is absolutely in love with him and I don't know what to do! I don't believe him. He's been consistently lying to me. He is starting therapy to deal with his insecurities and I just don't know where to go or what to do with myself. I stupidly feel bad for him because he feels so horrible about the whole situation. I know it had to be her last night. When looking at the phone calls from the week before, that number matches the calls I saw on his phone. I don't want to break my daughter’s heart again with another man leaving her life. I love this man. I don't know how to get past this or to trust. I don't know where to go from here! Obviously don't want to talk to any friends or family about this. Someone please give me some guidance. I'm desperate.

 

[steph1413]

He is 24 and I am 27. We do not live together. We have been together for a year and have plans to move together in a few months. He is starting his last semester of his Masters Degree in Community Counseling. He is going to start working on his PHD shortly thereafter and we have plans to move to the area of the school. These are horrible red flags. Part of me wants to run but I just look at my daughter and think "God, how will I explain this?" She still talks about getting a buzz suit and going to visit my ex-boyfriend (who was not her father). It makes me feel better that he is going to start therapy to deal with his own issues and is wanting to go together after he's dealt with his own things. I want to try to make it work but I don't know how.

 

[steph1413]

Ugh... I know that you're all right. Bottom line is that I do need to leave him. He's leaving for drill today, he's stopping at my work before but obviously that's not an appropriate location/time to talk about this. I feel so effin weak and stupid! I have 3 options going through my head right now.

1. Walk in on Sunday and say "Here's the deal: show me your phone and admitt it now or I am walking out of the door and you'll never see me again" Different outcomes/options:
* I see the phone and the messages are there and it's her
* I see the phone and he has deleted the messages, then it was her and he's trying to hide it.
* I see the phone and it is someone else and I've brought this all back up for nothing.
* He refuses to show me.

2. Walk in on Sunday and say "I can't do this. I can't trust you. Goodbye."

3. See him today before he leaves and say "I will not be there Sunday. I believe you're lying and I can't trust you."

And we all know it's going to be a short and as easy as that! *Sarcasim* LOL