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I feel cheated

2739 Views 13 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  PHTlump
I don't exactly know how to deal with this relationship and my trust problems anymore. What happened was that a few months ago I found out that my boyfriend had a crush on a girl from work (she no longer works there) and they had been texting. When confronted with it, he admitted it and told her they could no longer be friends. I had this strange suspicion that something was going on so I checked his phone this past weekend.... he had talked to twice in the week. I immediately confronted him and he apologized and said it was because he heard she was coming back to work and wanted to lay ground rules. It also turns out that they have been friends on facebook. He deleted her friendship and phone number. He gave me his passwords to his cell phone account. I looked last night and saw that he was possibly texting her just last night and the night before. He denies that it was her but refused to tell whose number it was saying that it was too much. I have a 4 year old daughter who is absolutely in love with him and I don't know what to do! I don't believe him. He's been consistently lying to me. He is starting therapy to deal with his insecurities and I just don't know where to go or what to do with myself. I stupidly feel bad for him because he feels so horrible about the whole situation. I know it had to be her last night. When looking at the phone calls from the week before, that number matches the calls I saw on his phone. I don't want to break my daughter’s heart again with another man leaving her life. I love this man. I don't know how to get past this or to trust. I don't know where to go from here! Obviously don't want to talk to any friends or family about this. Someone please give me some guidance. I'm desperate.
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This is a boyfriend? Do you live together? Can you say more about your situation/history with this man?

I'd like to hear more, but regardless this is really bad. These red flags can not be discounted, This isn't only about you. Your dealing with the well being and development of a small child. You have to do what is best for her. The "consistantly lying" part is the deal breaker here. This is a huge warning sign, a crystal ball. at this point in your relationship, if these things behaviors are evident it doesn't bode well. Taking into account anything that he does to you may directly effect your daughters development and her future well being... My knee jerk advice would be RUN. Get out now, there is simply to much at stake to take this gamble.
There is no way to ice this over Steph. The writing is on the wall and it's clear. A year in? This is a no brainer, don't do this to yourself, and to your daughter. Get out now. You think this is going to hurt? You have no idea how much worse this could be.

He has already shown you who he is and what he is capable of, trust him.
2. Walk in on Sunday and say "I can't do this. I can't trust you. Goodbye."
This is the right choice, and it's not close.
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