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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So I have been married for 11 years. I screwed up twice in the past with the same woman, never had sex with her just emotional cheating. I told my wife I didn’t want her in the process of this and it hurt her so bad. I didn’t mean it but I was angry so anyway fast forward to now. We are still together. I had a seizure fractured my spine so I’ve been home a lot which helped us get closer again. But me I was to clingy she said so I have to fall back a little. So with my seizure medicine I have gotten all the side effects I’m angry all the time sleepy just all around a D*** but one day I got a phone call that my father lied on me to get money from someone and that sent me over the edge I blew up and my wife got all of it. I was yelling screaming cursing her out told her it’s over and everything and a few moments later I calmed down a bit and tried to take it all back but the damage was done. I have apologized over and over but she is so hurt. Honestly I don’t know if she will stay with me after this. I know it was me holding all my anger in and not talking to anyone but she is always the victim when I snap I hate it. I really need to talk with someone about my anger cause I don’t want to lose her. I can’t afford counseling and don’t have money for the classes so I’m frustrated. Can anyone give me some advice on how to get my wife to forgive me?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Your actions are abusive to her. If she will give you another chance, you will have to change dramatically. I hope you can do it, but it sounds like she's had enough.
Yea totally agree I’ve never been this way before I was the king of patience I even helped her change her ways because she use to abuse me but that’s no excuse and I plan on getting help as soon as possible I do not want my kids to see anything like this
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Women tend to view men who rage as unsafe. If she were here, the advice would probably be for her to leave you. Since you’re the one here, I suggest showing her a new, improved you. And hope she still cares enough to be with you.
I told her if I was in the same situation I don’t know if I would stay yes I stayed with her when she was abusing me only because I knew how bad her childhood was and wanted to show her that someone does love her and cherish her
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Then get ready to lose your wife:
Not ready for that and I’m determined to do something I’m talking to pastors her father because he always have good advice I’m also managing my anger talking things out with her and others I’m going to get myself better as soon as I get the money I’ll be there I refuse to let this be the reason my kids grow up in a broken home
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·

I will check it out thank you and no it’s not it’s only $35 for the one close by me but my disability only gives me $200 every two weeks and we have four kids so I’m running thin right now
 

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Well it’s important to understand that you are responsible for your own behavior. You CAN control that.
And if you are mindful of how you act/react… you can do better.

Can you promise yourself that when any situation pops up that angers you… you will delay any response? Then calmly sit down with the person creating the situation and in a gentle voice express your feelings?

It’s not hard… you take in info - process by giving it thought - and gently tell that person how you feel (IF they have asked for your opinion!)

Sometimes if it’s not your problem - it’s best to simply respond with… “I know you’ll figure this problem out.”
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Well it’s important to understand that you are responsible for your own behavior. You CAN control that.
And if you are mindful of how you act/react… you can do better.

Can you promise yourself that when any situation pops up that angers you… you will delay any response? Then calmly sit down with the person creating the situation and in a gentle voice express your feelings?

It’s not hard… you take in info - process by giving it thought - and gently tell that person how you feel (IF they have asked for your opinion!)

Sometimes if it’s not your problem - it’s best to simply respond with… “I know you’ll figure this problem out.”
Yes, my friend told me that and I have been doing it but I’m rarely angry so lately it’s more of anxiety but if I do get angry I will be doing this I am in control of my life and anger will not rule me I love myself and my family to much for that. I’ve even considered going to aa meetings because they have that support system
 

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Yes I know and I want it just not financially able to do so
There are anger management classes that are offered free of charge. You just need to look for them. It sounds like your anger is partially fueled by the epilepsy medicine, but a big part is not related to the medicine. You need to contact local organizations, or the epilepsy foundation and ask them if they can recommend any specific resources. Contact your city or your health insurance. They might help you find good and free anger management classes or help you cover the cost if there aren't any in your area. You might be able to find some free anger management classes online that are group classes.
 

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It's v hard living with an angry person. I did it for many years and you have to walk on eggshells all the time. Plus you have to keep the peace between the angry person and the children. It's exhausting.
 
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