Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
STBX arrived home before our sons' psych appointments in a 26k 4x4 he is test driving with the intention of buying today. Why? Because he's always wanted a jeep. And because it reminds him of his dad that just passed away in May. Um...again another, do it because I want, not because yu need situation. I drove to work and class every day and had multiple issues in the snow due to my car not handling well in the snow over the mountains I traverse to get to work and school. I, for the sake of our income, settled on a cheap van less than 10k that has almost killed me twice in the snow. What kills me is he is saying he is doing this and THEN is going to stop paying on his credit cards. If they go into collections, can that affect the kids child support?

Today I fund out DS1 was officially diagnosed with PDD NOS, an autism spectrum disorder. My second son also today was diagnosed with the same, only he has a rage disorder and they want him on heavy antipsychotics at age 5.

My daughter just burst into tears telling me they thought they were at a game website at her friends house and someone on the other end of the computer coerced them to take off their shirts and tried to coerce them to remove their bras.

I am so overwhelmed today I just want to run, or kill someone, but I can't do either.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,203 Posts
Holy Snikes Batman! Is this for real? I don't feel to good about whining about not being a better cook.

I think just one of those would put me in the hospital.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I wish it wasn't for real. God I sound like one of those **** head trolls I despise for making **** up on the Internet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I am afraid though, if he goes into collections can that affect his support? I don't care about me. But if it affects my kids (which it already is because I can only afford a 2 bedroom apt for me and 3 kids) I will go fifty shades of crazy.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,771 Posts
There usually is a government website with rules, laws and regulations from your state of residence. Many custodial parents will call the courthouse's domestic relations section and speak with a caseworker. They are generally sympathetic and helpful.

I truly believe the child support must be paid first by law, but I can not say for certain. Sorry about your children's health and the computer bull crap. Hope this will help to ease your mind a little.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I didn't want to have to go that route, I was hoping to avoid lawyers and the separation getting nasty. Right now I have my kids to worry about. I don't want them to suffer for what looks like a mid life crisis gone horribly wrong.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
45,167 Posts
He has to pay the child support no matter what.

You can probably just use the state child support office to get your child support and do not need attornies.

Do you have court ordered child support yet?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,771 Posts
I don't understand. I thought he was paying court ordered child support. If he is not, you may need to be concerned with the purchase of a new automobile. Only you and he would know what the 'family' income was and be able to 'guesstimate'. If you are receiving child support through the state, you do not have to call an attorney. You just call the courthouse and ask for your caseworker in domestic relations. Simple and no attorneys are involved. You can ask them many things. When it comes time for a hearing, you consult your attorney. Standard questions can be answered or at the very least attempted to be answered through the domestic relations caseworkers. That's what they are there for.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
No. We aren't even officially separated. Just living in separate rooms until I can find a place to move. Neither of us can afford this huge house alone so both of us will be moving. Landlord has agreed to work with me though until I find a new place. I'm looking at a low income housing development. They are reviewing my financial status. I did not include support in it because I won't be receiving support until we are separated. He only dropped the bomb 2 weeks ago, while I was recovering from mono. I've been super busy with my boys and their evaluations and getting them treatment, so I haven't been able to do much apartment hunting since I've been allowed out of bed (only a week ago) after mono.

It's just...I'm afraid to ask "what more".

I can't find the purse I carried to the store yesterday when I picked up my Zoloft I intended to start today because I'm just getting too overwhelmed. I've gone this long without it, what's one more night? I don't have the energy to look for it anymore either.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,771 Posts
I see. You are right to be concerned. I am sorry you are hurting. Maybe you can use the thoughts I had when the time comes. Good grief. I'm so sorry for you. He's got you in a really tough spot. If you can get some rest, somehow, you may be able to find your purse. I hope so. I can tell you are hurting. I was that way for a long time. I wouldn't know what happened to things. I am still like that once in a while. So sorry for you. :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I think for the most part I'm past being hurt for our marriage. I'm just tired of no apologies and blaming me for everything wrong with our marriage.

I hurt for my kids though. And I'm terrified of raising two special needs boys on my own, and now dealing with the emotional duress that my daughter is going through. Whoever it was kept typing "if you don't do xyz, I will post pics of the last thing you did all over the Internet". She is 12 and she believed it. And her friend is mad at her because she told me, and I have no access to that computer without PD and can't call them without her permission lest she hate me forever. Ugh.

I can't afford IC, and yet I feel like I need it. I just handed over 50 bucks today for the boys and will need to add more testing for my younger son, which will be expensive. My therapy is not even a possibility right now.

And I'm really pissed that he gets his joy ride, and he couldn't have cared less when I needed something like that. One more talley mark on the list of ways he has been selfish over the years.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,771 Posts
Well, he's being selfish and hurtful. It's no wonder you are having trouble. He doesn't seem concerned.

I hope you figure out what to do about your daughter. You don't need more trouble, but you don't need more trouble. Ahh yeah. I hope you know what I mean. It's tough when you are already hurting and confused. Then add all of that on top and it's a wonder you can function at all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Can I cuss here? I really just want to throw something right now. He was all, I'm going out with my friends on Thursday after work, a few days ago. I'm not going to be able to stop him. What the f?ckever. However, our daughter told us about the Internet bra episode and we both discussed talking with the other girls parents before we contacted the police and it has bothered me more and more as the day wears on. I intended on speaking to parents as soon as I got word from my daughter that she has asked her friend if she has spoken and pre warned her. I can give her that. Husbeast when I tell him we need to speak to them today, is all...I have plans. Sorry.

Because your damn night at the bar with your friends, which is becoming a weekly event, is more important than your daughters 12 year old chest on some pedophile's website. My god I want to lunch him right now. I can't do this one alone, because of two autistic boys. Someone has to watch them while I go. F$ckwit. I really hate you today.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
685 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Well, guess who handled EVERYTHING without him. God I feel empowered. The two other girls involved ended up at my house today angry at my daughter for talking. I made them sit down and told them all I was not angry with them. That what they did was stupid, but as B's mom I had to make sure she was safe, and that their mom needs to do the same. I warned them the police would be involved. I promised them I would not say anything that would sound like it was their fault. They asked if their mom could come to our house so that I would be there and they could hide in my daughters room while I spoke. I said sure.

Mom came, I told her what happened. What I felt (that I was not angry with any of the girls and that it was simply stupidity getting carried away, but I didn't want their lives ruined over this). I explained that the girls were here crying over what happened and that they had all been upset for days.

Mom took it well. The oldest knows she is in trouble still and feels horrible for having been so dumb. Mom assured her she was angrier at the guy who did this to them. We both told the girls tougher Internet rules are coming, and that the police would be involved. Mom is calling me tomorrow with our next course of action.

I called the FBI today to report it.

ALL WITHOUT HIS BAR HOPPING ASS.

That's right people, he may think I need him (and financially I may) but I can handle this **** without him. Go have your damn midlife crisis. It's not me the kids are complaining about never being here. And it's not me they won't want to see as they get older. Hope you like that life.
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top