Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is my very first time posting in a forum and I'm doing so because when I talk to friends and family they are biased and I need some unbiased advice. Ok I met my husband while deployed in Iraq, he was married but he told me he was separated and going to get a divorce so him and I started seeing each other. I fell head over heels in love with him in just a month. Just so it's clear I had been in a few relationships before but never fell in love, I never even said I love you too a man before because I just never loved any of them. So when I fell for this man I knew that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I left Iraq before him but we kept in contact every day and while I was home was when I found out he had lied about him and his wife being separated. At this point I loved him so much that I didn't care and I just wanted to make him mine. I fought for three years and it was an emotional rollercoaster. He did end up leaving her for me and I thought our life together would be like a happily ever after movie. He was stationed in Korea for two years so when he got back a month later we got married. We have now been married for a year. Four months after being married I was a text he got from a chic and it was a picture of her ass. He tried hiding the phone from me before I saw it but he wasn't fast enough. I found the girls number and texted her what the hell is going on between her and my husband. She said she didn't know he was married and they met on some game on the iPhone. She lived in another state but she told me that my husband had wanted to meet up with her. He denied ever wanting to see her of course and said that he was never going to do anything with her. She said she would never talk to him again because she got divorced for her husband cheating and she wouldn't do that to another woman so I didn't worry about her anymore. Months later I see some texts from another girl that are very inappropriate for a married man. He tells me that yes he had sex with her before me and that that just how he talks to her but he's not going to do anything with her again. At first I was like ok because we are in CA and she is NY. But then he goes to VA, without me, to visit his daughter and ends up going to NY to see his sister. While there he doesn’t answer my texts or calls and he ends up staying longer than he was supposed to. He tells me that he didn't see that chic and that he was just with his sister and some other friends. I kind of believe him later because of a text I saw from her saying that next time he has to see her. So the months go by and he is still texting this chic and a few others now...consistently! He gets texts and calls at 4 in morning from these women up until he goes to sleep. He tells me he's not cheating and that he's been a flirt for all his life and he's not about to change. I tell him by his flirting he is leading these women on and eventually it will end up to him cheating on me. One of these women is someone he works with, who is also married. He soon starts going to work earlier saying because he wants to work out and starts coming home later saying they have lots of work. Tonight has been the latest and he says he was playing football. He didn’t even let me know he was coming home late, he said he didn’t think I cared. By this time we have been fighting a lot and have threatened each other that we can’t take this anymore. I don’t get what he’s tired of because I have not been as crazy as other people say I should. My only thing that I have done is go through his phone, iPad, email, and Facebook. He of course changed all his passwords and deleted me off his Facebook. Three other things that happened within that last 30 days or so is he didn’t come home after work, he said he was hanging with his coworker, the one he texts nonstop, and he ended up sleeping in his car because he had been drinking. The next he took off to L.A. to party at some club with some male coworkers but while there he was ignoring all my texts and calls and he would not tell me what he was doing saying is wasn’t my business. The last thing is after work he “said” he went to some mall which is far with some male friends and didn’t come home until real late. Oh one last thing we haven’t had sex in two months, he doesn’t like me touching him, and he shows no affection whatsoever towards me even though I still try and be loving to him. So to me all signs go to him cheating on me but he keeps denying it and saying that he might as well cheat on me if I’m going to be accusing him of it. Of course his side of the story is that I’m crazy jealous and insecure and that he isn’t doing anything bad. I would love advice from any men out there and women that have gone through something like this.