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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hello I'm new to the forums but I'm in a bad way right now. Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year. I'm not sure but I suspect she's either borderline or bi polar. Purely speculative just from things I have read from a post on this website and from looking at other websites. I've suggested she try to get it checked out but that's neither here nor there. We also live together. Not the greatest choices I know but that's all said and done now. Anyways she's always going back and forth on us and it's very stressful. It's as I tell her she always seems to cycle. One day she may be totally in love with me and the next saying she's not connected to me. Were in such one cycle now where she hardly says anything to me at all. Our sex lif eis still very active which makes it more confusing. It may sound strange for a guy to say but I don't sleep with anyone that I don't feel anything for and tend to suspect that my partner is the same way. So anyways I recently got the I love you but not in love with you. Which is contradictory to a email I got less than 2 weeks ago from her that she sent from work which was talking about how in love she is with me. See why this is confusing as crap to me?

We have the usual stresses a lot of people have such as finances but were finally starting to get those under control.

So one thing about it all is and I believe that this is a big contributor to her current behavior. An ex boyfriend before me recently started contacting her. This guy was bad news. She was with him 3 years before she finally ditched him. He did things such as a wreck got her to take blame for it so he wouldn't go back to jail. He would get drunk and pee on the floor. He would steal from the kids. Since he started contacting her claiming that he has "changed" she has started saying he wasn't that bad and that she doesn't want him just wants closure. Yesterday she asked if he could meet her for lunch. Which I don't know what's going on there yet because he was living 4 hours away.

The way I know this stuff is I got suspicious about her behavior after she out of nowhere asked if I would move out for about a week so she could "breathe" and put a keylogger on my computer. Wrong yes but it served it's purpose and I don't regret that. Of course she got mad about it but I have to look out for myself. I took the keylogger off and she changed her passwords. I then put it back on. Apparently she thought I was an idiot and going to trust her just because she claims closure is all she wants when the gmail chats and facebook messages say something different. Also the factor that she disguised his name as something else on her phone.

Oh she has also complained about lack of romance. This is a tricky one. See I do things that are romantic in my opinion. Take her out to dinner. Sex by candlelight. Pull her off to the side in a store or side of the road just to dance with her..etc She says those things are romantic but on a personal level. This is something she figured out yesterday and told me about. She says those things are romantic to her she likes "theatrical" romance like Morticia and Gomez for an example.

Any ideas? Leaving isn't really an option right now just being that I have no friends or family with any available space (I already checked) and can't afford a hotel right now. I just got started on a new job so have to get some money saved up.
 

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Well that blows it for me. My suggestion was leaving before reading your last paragraph.

You don't need anyone on here to tell you she's carrying on an inappropriate relationship with her ex, right? Possibly an affair...telling herself, "Well I'm not married, so..." She's trying to pull a fast one...seeing her ex, testing the waters with him until she's sure she really wants to leave you for him, til she's sure he's changed.

If you want to continue to be the chump on the back burner...well go right ahead.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thank you for your response. Trust me if leaving was an option I would have already left. I have called and text with every person I know just to try to achieve this. Since it's not I'm trying to figure out things I can do till I can make this happen and if I'm really lucky correct this before it goes anywhere. I know for certain that there hasn't been any kind of physical affair and that it is an emotional affair sort of. He initiated contact and she's jumped all over it. He doesn't even respond to her all the time. He makes her wait till he's ready to reply. I do know they haven't seen each other as of yet. She hasn't seen him in about 2 years.
 

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An ex boyfriend before me recently started contacting her. This guy was bad news. She was with him 3 years before she finally ditched him. He did things such as a wreck got her to take blame for it so he wouldn't go back to jail. He would get drunk and pee on the floor. He would steal from the kids.


The way I know this stuff is I got suspicious about her behavior after she out of nowhere asked if I would move out for about a week so she could "breathe" and
Heh.

I would have left a week ago and told he to keep her 'drunken peeing stealing drunk-abusing boyfriend."

But that's me.



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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you for your reply. that's just the pickle I'm in. I've found hotels for $500 a month just have to come up with that amount. Right now I'm trying to come up with that much and see if I can fix whatever is going on before it gets really bad in between time.
 

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Thank you for your reply. that's just the pickle I'm in. I've found hotels for $500 a month just have to come up with that amount. Right now I'm trying to come up with that much and see if I can fix whatever is going on before it gets really bad in between time.
You have nobody at all you can stay with?
 

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I would stop having sex with her and move into a spare bedroom until I save enough to rent space elsewhere. Stop all communication and only pay for what I use. She wants to behave like a roommate, no problem...
 

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You have nobody at all you can stay with?
Not at all. I talked to all my friends and they don't have any spare room because most of them took on roommates. I asked my parents but they don't have enough rooms either. My mother is already sleeping on the couch because of my all my father's medical equipment.
 

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I would stop having sex with her and move into a spare bedroom until I save enough to rent space elsewhere. Stop all communication and only pay for what I use. She wants to behave like a roommate, no problem...
I can sleep on the couch but that's about it. The kids take up the only spare bedrooms. Which that really isn't a bad idea at all.
 
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