[jomilf]

I am a 30 year old woman and have had a rough 11 plus years. I thought for once I found the man of my dreams and as of now not so sure. I had my first son at 19 with my high school sweetheart he was to self centered and I couldn't deal with it so we went our ways. I met a new man who became my husband when I was 22 and we lived our separate lives as I took care of our son and my 1st son alone and he was out at the bars and with other women. we conceived 2 children and divorced when i turned 26. I met my new husband shortly after. He became my best friend and for once made me feel special. We slowly got our children together and became a family. I became pregnant 2 years into our relationship and as I went to check my emails on my own computer i stumbled across a bunch of emails pictures you name it from exes and aff. of my husband. We worked things out he said he was stupid didn't mean it etc. but I didn't believe him. Now our son is 3 months old and i found thousands of videos and pictures of my husbands exes and other porn on his computer. How do I approach this and what can I do? I've been trying to stay calm but Im so darn hurt.

 

[Hope1964]

My husband did something similar. There are a few links in my signature that you might find helpful. You also need to find out everything he's up to. I would put a keylogger on his computer and see.

 

[jomilf]

I'm not very computer savvy how do I do that ?
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[Hope1964]

I've never done it but there's a thread here you can look in, or google it, or post a question in the coping with infidelity section.

How computer savvy is he?

 

[jomilf]

He knows everything about computers. Learned from computer techs in the army when they had plenty of time.
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[endlessgrief]

Too lazy to read the other responses today. Sounds to me like the ONE thing in common in these horrific relationships is YOU. Sounds you are flypaper for azzholes.

You need to figure out WHY you go for bad boys, learn more about yourself and once you are confident within yourself, you will fall for men who will give you the respect you deserve.

But is all starts with you. I know it sucks and it's hard, but it's a better option than living the way you do. I am so sorry you are so unhappy.

Sometimes living alone is much better than sharing space with a jerk who lies and drinks and cheats. Since you cannot change him, you can change you. I am in the same boat. I'm trying to get my mojo back and it's hard but I know I can do it. And so can you.

 

[Thomaseque]

It's true that sometimes one is far better off living alone than living with someone who cannot be trusted and puts his/her pleasures first.

This is in no way a criticism, but I often wonder why some people marry at such a young age (pregnancy or no pregnancy) and continue to marry!

Maybe I'm just a cynical old bird. The better half and I have been living together going on twenty-six years -- long engagement, eh?

For reasons of our own, we shunned marriage. Everyone has issues...

Good luck, and Happy New Year to you and everyone here.