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I am young and I already know that. I am 21 and going through a divorce. When I was 18 I married who I thought to be the love of my life. There are a lot of reasons why we married so fast, one was his son. His son was 10 months old at the time and his birth mother didn't want to be in his life an had no visitation or any rights to him anymore. It was too expensive to adopt him, but I was still considered the mommy by everyone, his family and mine. Mine family was just like the normal grandma and grandpas, aunts and uncles, but things didn't work out between us, obviously. I now that we are not right for each other, but that doesn't mean that I didn't want us to work and that I didn't love him because I do, but it's best this way for both of us. The only issue is, two weeks after we broke up he met someone online. For the first two weeks he was giving me time with the little boy who is now 4 and 1/2 and we were fine, but then he started finding everything and anything to complain about. If carter, that's his name came back with a scrap in his knee from falling he would freak out on me. He's a boy and a kid he is going to fall and get hurt! Never have I ever hurt him. I love him like he is my own. It has now been 8 months and I have not been able to see carter or anything. My ex is now having a baby with the girl he meant online after 3 months of being together he also is engaged to her. Did I mention that we are still married?! I just don't have the money to file yet. I'm hurt lost and confused and don't know what to do. I miss carter soooooo much and i don't know how to live without him.
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First, welcome to TAM and I'm so sorry you have found yourself on our part of the forum. That said, you'll find lots of friendly, supportive people here. Times will be tough, but you will get through it. I recommend reading a bit of some of the other threads here. You'll see that over time things get better.

Specific to you, I hate that you are in the situation you are in. You definitely should have some part in that little boys life, but unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do if his father is doing what he is doing. If you had the funds I'd suggest talking with an attorney. I'd bet you have some rights here, but I have no idea what they might be.

You may be able to find an attorney that will work pro bono in your situation or for court costs recovered from your X.

That said, your stbx doesn't sound like a very good person. I think you should start working on the divorce paperwork yourself if you can't find an attorney.

Also, he cannot be married again until he finishes the divorce with you. If you are in the US marrying again would be illegal I believe. You could always tell him that you want him to file the papers so he can get married and you can be free.

You are young, you know that. You'll meet someone else. Someone better, who will want you in their life for good and will not play games.

You'll be fine. Trust me, I know it's hard to believe now... But it's true. Keep posting here. Take it from me and my 400+ posts since late October ... It helps :)
 
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