Joined
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11 Posts
First post so hello all! Joined after reading some posts and felt like I needed to put my story down and get some advice on where my marriage is heading..
Me and my wife have been together for 12 years and married for 10, we have two children and all has been going well up until recently.
Out of the blue a few months back, we had an big falling out which resulted in her saying that she wasnt sure she loved me anymore to the point where she wanted to seperate. we sat down and talked about it into the early hours of the morning and a couple of things emerged which have kinda scared the c**p out of me. Firstly she has said to me she has had multiple men asking her out on dates, one of which knows she is married and she is friendly with. She goes out drinking with all these friends on a regular basis typically leaving me at home on my own to look after the kids sometimes every night of the week.
She has repeatidly denied that she is having a relationship with any of these men but she keeps on saying she really likes one, but "only as a friend and he knows that". He is single. She says she wants to go out as because she is a homemaker and looks a fter the kids during the day, i am happy for her to go out and have a social life when I get back. She typically gets back anytime from 10pm to gone midnight. Im just not sure if I can trust her completly.
However over the last few months i have been getting increasingly depressed and down in the dumps over this. I feel I am trapped at home not able to socialise and enjoy myself as much as i would, everything i do is typically with her and the kids and I do not get any "me" time like she does and Im kinda starting to resent it.
She keeps asking me whats wrong and I tell her, and the general outcome is another big argument with her saying she will stop going out with her firends so I can and wont have a social life. This is to the extreme imo as I am ok for her going out if she wants to but I also want to see her in the evenings!
I think im typically the passive in the relationship with my wife more the dominant person and im starting to resent it as I feel she walks all over me, and the kids walk all over me too.
i do get the feeling sometimes Im in a loveless marriage, but then other times small things happen that perk us both up and make us happier, but it soon starts to go back to the same old normal routine.
I work with a single female colleague at work in my job and she has accused me of having a relationship with her which is completly and utterly untrue but im still not sure if she believes me. I look around me at work and see lots of my colleagues having lots of fun and going out socialising and cannot help but feel Im loosing out.
She says she has felt this way about us for years, but it has only been this bad for about the last 9 months, i still Love her but not sure if Im in love with her anymores..
I have suggested councilling but she says we can just talk it out between us, im scared to because i dont want to start another huge argument which is where are talks typically end up. so i tend to keep my mouth shut and carry on keeping my feelings inside until we have another explosion.
Im guessing I need someone to talk to and advice on what to do to make my marriage better, if I can. at this moment Im honestly not sure if I have the strength to carry on fighting for it. its even getting to the stage where at home I end up working in the evenings when she is out because I dont have anything else I can do.
I love my kids and dont want to hurt them at all and I dont know what I would do if I was not with them.
Help me..
A Sad and depressed husband..
Me and my wife have been together for 12 years and married for 10, we have two children and all has been going well up until recently.
Out of the blue a few months back, we had an big falling out which resulted in her saying that she wasnt sure she loved me anymore to the point where she wanted to seperate. we sat down and talked about it into the early hours of the morning and a couple of things emerged which have kinda scared the c**p out of me. Firstly she has said to me she has had multiple men asking her out on dates, one of which knows she is married and she is friendly with. She goes out drinking with all these friends on a regular basis typically leaving me at home on my own to look after the kids sometimes every night of the week.
She has repeatidly denied that she is having a relationship with any of these men but she keeps on saying she really likes one, but "only as a friend and he knows that". He is single. She says she wants to go out as because she is a homemaker and looks a fter the kids during the day, i am happy for her to go out and have a social life when I get back. She typically gets back anytime from 10pm to gone midnight. Im just not sure if I can trust her completly.
However over the last few months i have been getting increasingly depressed and down in the dumps over this. I feel I am trapped at home not able to socialise and enjoy myself as much as i would, everything i do is typically with her and the kids and I do not get any "me" time like she does and Im kinda starting to resent it.
She keeps asking me whats wrong and I tell her, and the general outcome is another big argument with her saying she will stop going out with her firends so I can and wont have a social life. This is to the extreme imo as I am ok for her going out if she wants to but I also want to see her in the evenings!
I think im typically the passive in the relationship with my wife more the dominant person and im starting to resent it as I feel she walks all over me, and the kids walk all over me too.
i do get the feeling sometimes Im in a loveless marriage, but then other times small things happen that perk us both up and make us happier, but it soon starts to go back to the same old normal routine.
I work with a single female colleague at work in my job and she has accused me of having a relationship with her which is completly and utterly untrue but im still not sure if she believes me. I look around me at work and see lots of my colleagues having lots of fun and going out socialising and cannot help but feel Im loosing out.
She says she has felt this way about us for years, but it has only been this bad for about the last 9 months, i still Love her but not sure if Im in love with her anymores..
I have suggested councilling but she says we can just talk it out between us, im scared to because i dont want to start another huge argument which is where are talks typically end up. so i tend to keep my mouth shut and carry on keeping my feelings inside until we have another explosion.
Im guessing I need someone to talk to and advice on what to do to make my marriage better, if I can. at this moment Im honestly not sure if I have the strength to carry on fighting for it. its even getting to the stage where at home I end up working in the evenings when she is out because I dont have anything else I can do.
I love my kids and dont want to hurt them at all and I dont know what I would do if I was not with them.
Help me..
A Sad and depressed husband..