I don't know how to comfort friends and loved ones when they have lost a loved one, so I hide away for the most part. I just don't know what to say and I am so afraid of sayingf the wrong thing. What do I do.
It surely is human nature to wish to avoid facing an unpleasant task, especially if it includes seeing the pain in the eyes of a friend. But we must sometimes hurt along with our friends to show them that we love them.
I would just add to what Droconis said by saying just call and see what happens. It might be the very call that makes the day bearable for someone in terrible pain. If you are close family it is important to mark the date on your calendar and call every year on the anniversary or the deceased birthday o a holiday or drop a note or card if it is too hard to actually talk or even listen. My daughter died 14 years ago at the age of 17 and it makes me very sad that even my closest family does not remember her birthday or death day. Or if they do, they don't tell me. I have one friend who remembers every year, both dates and it means the whole world to me that she will just drop an email to say that she is thinking of me that day. It really makes hard, hard days much better.