After signing the papers to be filed with the court yesterday, it occured to me this morning that I haven't cried. In the last few months I have cried for my kids. It breaks my heart knowing that they have to go through this as well. I've cried for him, in the beginning of the separation he cried (or at least had tears in his eyes) more than I'd ever seen in the 17 years that I've know him. Yet I haven't cried for myself in a long time.
I'm usually a crier, I believe that some healing can come from a good hard cry. At one point I did hold in my emotions at times, I didn't want to break down in front of our children. But I don't feel like I'm holding it in at this point.
My rationalization for not crying: I've cried so many times over so many years because of him. Also I'm farther along in the process because I've had years to deal with it and came to the decision of divorce not out of anger but because I knew it's what I had to do if I had any hopes at ever being happy again.
I know this is just the beginning of a very long journey and I know my emotions with flip flop a lot before the divorce is finale. But for right now I don't cry. While I'm sad that it didn't work out between H and I and I'm sad for my children, I'm not sad for me right now.
Anyone else experience this?
I'm usually a crier, I believe that some healing can come from a good hard cry. At one point I did hold in my emotions at times, I didn't want to break down in front of our children. But I don't feel like I'm holding it in at this point.
My rationalization for not crying: I've cried so many times over so many years because of him. Also I'm farther along in the process because I've had years to deal with it and came to the decision of divorce not out of anger but because I knew it's what I had to do if I had any hopes at ever being happy again.
I know this is just the beginning of a very long journey and I know my emotions with flip flop a lot before the divorce is finale. But for right now I don't cry. While I'm sad that it didn't work out between H and I and I'm sad for my children, I'm not sad for me right now.
Anyone else experience this?