... not helping ...
Just a hint, generally if your girl does not want to perform oral on you, and you are hygienic, she is not into you...
As I said, I don't blame her at all. She was raised in a very traditional strict kind of environment, I was her first and she has never, ever performed oral on me, it was not that she was not into me, it's just the way she is. She still loved me up until that point from what she told me, she said that I hurt her so much because I betrayed her total love for me....Bear in mind that a W that won't even entertain oral on her H in some fashion if her H is being a good lover is by her actions showing she's not that into him any more ...
Oh good Lord. This is one long, dramatic pity party. Suicide? Talk about even MORE selfish! No....you don't do thst.I have (or now I should say I've had) a wonderful family that anyone could have dreamt of. A wonderful wife of 25 years who has dedicated her entire life to raising her family, we have 3 great kids (1 teen & 2 young adults), a beautiful suburban home and very financially stable.
My wife is a beautiful woman, smart, witty, and talented in almost everything (fashion, cooking, gardening, singing, dancing, even minor household repairs), she worked hard all the time but somehow still managed to maintain a beautiful home.
Our sex life is okay, not great steamy hot all the time, but satisfactory for the most part. One thing that I've always felt missing is the oral sex, she enjoyed receiving but would not provide it, she said she was disgusted by it, I enjoy giving her oral and I've asked her from time to time over the years to try giving me oral but she just flatly refused it, and the last time I asked she told me not to ask again. I just want to clarify that I'm providing the full story and NOT trying to blame my wife, I am the idiot who wrecked our marriage, her refusing to give oral does NOT in any way gave me the right to cheat on her. But I did, I don't know why I kept fantasizing about it, and some time between 3-5 years ago I decided to see a prostitute to satisfy my fantasy just once. I remember feeling so guilty afterwards, but a few months later I wanted to get that feeling again, and the cheating started, my selfish sexual desire had clouded my judgement and moral value, I was telling myself I was doing it because she refused (I know, I realize now that I was such an idiot to let the stupid little head overriding the big head). And I became a pathetic lying cheater ever since, I went to see a prostitute maybe once every 1-2 months.
It's true that "All secrets and lies will eventually come out", my wife found out. She was shocked, and she was hurt so much because she completely trusted me in everything. My heart sank when I saw her reaction, I know she was in so much pain, like her whole world had just crumbled around her, she could barely kept herself up. At that moment I suddenly just woke up and realized what I have done! It's been a couple of days now, she has determined that we're so done, she can't stand looking at me any more as she hates me so much now. I don't blame her, we have such a wonderful family and I destroyed it because I selfishly wanted to satisfy a stupid sexual desire. Even my kids now don't want to look at me after they found out.
I regret so much, I pleaded with her, I begged her to give another chance but she said she couldn't bring herself to even look at me. I still love her so much with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her, but she said she just can't be with me any more, and she can never trust anything I say any more, she said she had lost all the love for me, just the feeling of disgusted and hatred, I gave her a cut into her soul so deep with a scar that can never be healed.
I don't want to lose my wonderful wife and this beautiful family, but I don't know what to do, I I will keep trying and trying, but if I can't get her back, I think I'm going to end my life, as now I realize that I can't go on living without my wife and kids in my life. To me, I already destroyed my family, so if I can't pull it back together, I might as well go ahead and destroy my pathetic life too. So help me God.
You are still in the house and were not totally dismissed.Update:
I approached my wife, I begged to give me a chance to speak, and she can think about it after.
I told her that I have thought hard in the last few days and I have realized that I was so blinded by my sexual desire that I completely lost my moral value, my dignity and committed this despicable crime against my marriage and ruined my family. The thought of a divorce and a picture of us living apart is killing me, I can't imagine my life without my wife and kids, I now realize that I love her very much, we've spend over 30 years together and it will be devastated to both of us to throw it away. I understand that she probably would not believe anything I say or promise, but I now have realized that I so much cherish this beautiful family that we've built together, if I can get a second chance, I will devote the rest of my life making it up to her.
She said the wound I gave her is so deep, she's still in so much pain, she needs to think about it.
That was all I was hoping for.
Honesty is the best option forward.I have (or now I should say I've had) a wonderful family that anyone could have dreamt of.
A wonderful wife of 25 years who has dedicated her entire life to raising her family,
we have 3 great kids (1 teen & 2 young adults), a beautiful suburban home and very financially stable.
My wife is a beautiful woman, smart, witty, and talented in almost everything
(fashion, cooking, gardening, singing, dancing, even minor household repairs),
she worked hard all the time but somehow still managed to maintain a beautiful home.
I don't want to lose my wonderful wife and this beautiful family, but I don't know what to do,
I I will keep trying and trying, but if I can't get her back, I think I'm going to end my life,
as now I realize that I can't go on living without my wife and kids in my life.
To me, I already destroyed my family, so if I can't pull it back together,
I might as well go ahead and destroy my pathetic life too.
So help me God.
Please seek help by seeing a therapist and family counseling , you are worth living and the world is a better place with you in it . Everyone makes mistakes and have flaws you have own your mistake but you must give yourself and your wife and family time to heal , adjust to this information . You and your family can benefit with assistance from a therapist I wish you and your family the best .I have (or now I should say I've had) a wonderful family that anyone could have dreamt of. A wonderful wife of 25 years who has dedicated her entire life to raising her family, we have 3 great kids (1 teen & 2 young adults), a beautiful suburban home and very financially stable.
My wife is a beautiful woman, smart, witty, and talented in almost everything (fashion, cooking, gardening, singing, dancing, even minor household repairs), she worked hard all the time but somehow still managed to maintain a beautiful home.
Our sex life is okay, not great steamy hot all the time, but satisfactory for the most part. One thing that I've always felt missing is the oral sex, she enjoyed receiving but would not provide it, she said she was disgusted by it, I enjoy giving her oral and I've asked her from time to time over the years to try giving me oral but she just flatly refused it, and the last time I asked she told me not to ask again. I just want to clarify that I'm providing the full story and NOT trying to blame my wife, I am the idiot who wrecked our marriage, her refusing to give oral does NOT in any way gave me the right to cheat on her. But I did, I don't know why I kept fantasizing about it, and some time between 3-5 years ago I decided to see a prostitute to satisfy my fantasy just once. I remember feeling so guilty afterwards, but a few months later I wanted to get that feeling again, and the cheating started, my selfish sexual desire had clouded my judgement and moral value, I was telling myself I was doing it because she refused (I know, I realize now that I was such an idiot to let the stupid little head overriding the big head). And I became a pathetic lying cheater ever since, I went to see a prostitute maybe once every 1-2 months.
It's true that "All secrets and lies will eventually come out", my wife found out. She was shocked, and she was hurt so much because she completely trusted me in everything. My heart sank when I saw her reaction, I know she was in so much pain, like her whole world had just crumbled around her, she could barely kept herself up. At that moment I suddenly just woke up and realized what I have done! It's been a couple of days now, she has determined that we're so done, she can't stand looking at me any more as she hates me so much now. I don't blame her, we have such a wonderful family and I destroyed it because I selfishly wanted to satisfy a stupid sexual desire. Even my kids now don't want to look at me after they found out.
I regret so much, I pleaded with her, I begged her to give another chance but she said she couldn't bring herself to even look at me. I still love her so much with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her, but she said she just can't be with me any more, and she can never trust anything I say any more, she said she had lost all the love for me, just the feeling of disgusted and hatred, I gave her a cut into her soul so deep with a scar that can never be healed.
I don't want to lose my wonderful wife and this beautiful family, but I don't know what to do, I I will keep trying and trying, but if I can't get her back, I think I'm going to end my life, as now I realize that I can't go on living without my wife and kids in my life. To me, I already destroyed my family, so if I can't pull it back together, I might as well go ahead and destroy my pathetic life too. So help me God.