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We did talk yesterday about phoning the police, the problem is we don't know anything about him and also stupidly i had her throw away everything she had that night, clothes, bag and contents. I didn't want anything to remind me of it. plus im not sure if either of us want to drag it out and remind us of it everyday.
Well all you can do now is try to move on.
she has a different job now, try to use this opportunity to set new and stronger boundaries so that this does not repeat itself.

Best wishes in the future with your relationship!
 

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Mark112, Sorry but this is clearly NOT rape, and any likelyhood of any residual chemicals in her bloodstream are remote. If you thought that this was a drug situation, you should have gone to hospital and had her checked ASAP, for "date rape" drugs. All Chemicals leave some trace, but it doesn't last very long.
Lets examine what happened. She left with ugly guy, voluntarily. She walked with him, voluntarily. She agreed to slip off into the field, voluntarily. She removed her own knickers, voluntarily. She allowed him to mount her, voluntarily. Plus, you cannot prove that ugly guy gave her any drugs. This is a lost cause. Before you do anything rash, you need to be aware that if you cannot prove anything, ugly guy might just take you to civil court and sue your butt. You would be better served by working on your relationship and making sure that your GF has proper boundaries regarding men and alcohol, and finding out why she allowed this to happen. If she had been drugged, she wouldn't have remembered all of those details. She isn't being completely honest with you. Sorry.
 

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neither of us said she was drugged, other people have said this on here, the police have begun an investigation as we speak, there is cctv both in the pub and where it took place, if and i mean IF there was any drugging involved the cctv will show this, however we are not under any illusions that this is the case. also i have no concerns of her lying, she has given a statement to the police with me there, she is certainly not someone who would lie about something like this to the police, she is quite aware that lies like this to the police would end up with her butt in jail.
 

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No she wasn't drugged. I don't see why this is an issue. One look at the effects of most common date rape drugs rule out her whole story of being drugged.

She did everything voluntarily, multiple actions of quick and coherent thought and has memory of the entire event.

Saying she could do all that while date rape drugged is like saying I could do my taxes under the effects of heroin.

There was no drugging, just a woman getting drunk and cheating.

Like someone else said, inside of opening yourself up for a lawsuit, face the simple fact that your wife cheated and then hid behind alcohol and a false drug story(she certainly didn't deter the way of thinking), and start working on your marriage.
 

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you people must be thick, neither of us said she was, this is the last message i will writing on this site that full of people that try to hurt people more than need be, not every situation is the same
 

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Under UK law if a woman is substantially impaired by alcohol, it would still probably be rape. Long time since I studied law, (heck, 30 years ago!) but I think that's how it is.
If it was probably rape in the UK 30 years ago then its definitely rape nowadays - there have been convictions for impared judgement rapes in last couple of years which 30 years ago wouldn't have even got to court.
 

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Makes me wonder of the druken ONS's I had in my single days. Any women who I had sex with could accuse me of rape even though we both consented to have sex when drunk. I guess I could also say I got raped by some women.
I hope this isn't a case of her falsely accusing this man to excuse her actions. Touchy subject and somebody life could be drastically headed down the drain because of this.
 

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I have a question, nobody has pointed too yet (i dont think..)

Mark, your wife/parnter, was at the bar until 4am, heavily toxicated, she says this is totally out of her character, and never drinks, never is in that type of crowd... my question is, were you not concerned for her well being that night? I mean, did you not talk to her (repeatedly??), heard her state, anything????

Moving forward though, why did you guys not go back to the bar(the next day-a week later) and ask who she left with, surely SOMEONE knows who that man is and saw you leave with him?
 

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you are guilty as much as you can be.

still this is a fact that anyone can do bad things. If you are sincerely feeling guilty and don't run away from punishment, I think it is because it is really a "mistake" for you. you say that you told this everyone and didn't try to cover it. these are things that a good person will do. you have given your partner a chance to choose by telling the truth. I believe that you can be a good partner for someone in the future . but the fact that you may lose your respect for your partner if he forgives you, so the only person that can know if you will be good for your betrayed partner is "you".

wish your boyfriend the best and never forget that what you did was very cheap. I wouldn't like to be with someone that is so easy for other people to get. this is worse that cheating.
 
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