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This is not really about my marriage--but it has the potential to wreck mine.

My Dad all of a sudden went from a healthy state to needing oxygen and got hospitalized. He is more than 80 and at this age anything can happen and I am duly worried. To make mattes worse, as days go by we are still not sure what is wrong. I have been talking to every consult since I am the only physician in my family.

So, I have a burden already. I cannot really tell my parents how worried I am. It bothers me in my culture people do not like to discuss death but that's not gonna change overnight.

My mother, in my h's words, has been "spoiled" all her life, first by her Dad then my Dad. She is the eldest of the children but all uncles and aunts shake their heads when it comes to big sis. She is always full of energy and talking up the wazoo and that drives me nuts. She would start talking to parents (when she crashes in my clinic) about her "naughty" daughter with no regards I am a professional treating these people's kids.

I am the only child and have no sibling to vent about Mom.

Now with Dad in hospital, she is understandably distressed. She has been anxious all her life because there is a big age gap between them. Well, you should look at that issue face on and plan accordingly. I brought her home to stay for a couple of days and finally sent her home yesterday (we live 30 min away from each other), knowing my h was coming home from business trip.

My parents' house is 5 min away from the hospital, yet Mom is almost in tears when she talks about how stressful it is to drive there. Thankfully, she found some church people who would drive her. My mom is COMPLETELY healthy, still working (and often complains about that), and drives.

In the past, when Dad was out of town (and I had already grown up and left home, thank God), they would arrange for someone like a friend to stay over, because Mom doesn't like to be alone. I never understood that (I would pray for time to be alone in my house). Now all I know is I cannot have her in my house for more than 3 days before I lose my sanity. She talks and talks and is also a backseat driver.

Really, I am just scared to lose my Dad, and it's not that I don't want to give Mom emotional support, but touchy feely stuff is not my style. My MIL (yeah, this is my life, while my h was away my MIL was here. But I actually get alone with her a lot more easily because she does NOT talk all the time) was inviting my PARENTS to come and stay with us for a while if Dad gets discharged but still needs recovering. I started waving my hands frantically. Yesterday when I picked up h and told him he said "then we are moving out."

Man.
 

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She is always full of energy and talking up the wazoo and that drives me nuts.
My gf's mom is like that. I think me and the gf both suspect it's related to ADD. My gf has pretty severe ADD (constantly losing things, not remembering things, easily distractable), and her mom is like that but 10x worse. My gf and her mom both lack the ability to think internally, so they think by talking, drawing, or writing notes. Your mom might have this same problem. She might narrate every single thing she does because that's the only way she can think about things. The problem can potentially be fixed by increasing dopamine, glutamate, and acetylcholine in the brain. My gf is taking d-amphetamine for this and it seems to help, but it has a hard crash later in the day that leads to rebound ADD.

She would start talking to parents (when she crashes in my clinic)
Well that's convenient. As a doctor, you could give her some amphetamine to see if it helps.

about her "naughty" daughter with no regards I am a professional treating these people's kids.
That sounds familiar. The inability to think before talking is a classic sign of ADD. It can lead to very inappropriate behavior such as talking about sexual experiences in a loud voice while eating at McDonalds. It can also lead to blathering nonsense talking that doesn't seem to go anywhere. Thinking before talking might lead to saying "I like the red dress more than the blue dress because it goes well with your hair color." Talking without thinking sounds like "I like the red dress more, but I don't know why. Maybe it's the shoes. No that's not it. It might be the hair, but I'm not sure." and it goes on like that for a long time. They talk for 5 minutes to explain something that could be said in 10 words or less.


In the past, when Dad was out of town (and I had already grown up and left home, thank God), they would arrange for someone like a friend to stay over, because Mom doesn't like to be alone. I never understood that (I would pray for time to be alone in my house). Now all I know is I cannot have her in my house for more than 3 days before I lose my sanity. She talks and talks and is also a backseat driver.
Totally ADD. Talking to yourself is considered crazy, but talking to someone else is not. It might help if she had a dog to talk to.
 
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