My husband just recently told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I don't feel like I'm strong enough to handle it. I have no girlfriends, no close friends, no family to support me so I'm making a desperate attempt to reach out to strangers to give me the confidence I need to handle this.
Let me start out by saying that I'm only 26, been married for 3 years, together for over 7. I know it doesn't sound like much and I have my whole life ahead of me, especially because we have no kids, but it feels like the hardest and most impossible day of my life and I have no idea how to handle it or even where to start handling it.
We started dating right after high school, maintained long distance through college while I studied in Europe, and then got married right after college. We were young, but we were both convinced it was an epic love story - we were different, but our differences complemented each other. My family, friends, career opportunities -- all remained in Europe. But I made a conscious decision to leave all of that behind to pursue my love.
No marriage is perfect, we had our fights. There were moments were he got abusive, both physically and mentally, but we addressed those issues. I wasn't perfect either; guilty of mistrust and nagging. But year ago, it seemed like we were growing as a couple. I loved him, good and bad, I adored him; even though I was not always able to show it.
In February, I suspected infidelity. I stumbled upon text messages in his phone, while putting it on the charger ... To several girls... That implied sexual relationships or at least desire to do so. I gathered all my courage and addressed it in a civil manner, with proof of screenshots, he had no choice to admit it. Not infidelity, but a desire to cheat. Seeing the pain I was going through, he promised to be a better man.
Since then, the last couple of months he made an effort to be a better husband the best way he could, I saw that and appreciated that. Last couple of weeks have been the happiest moments of my marriage. He cooked for me, he listened to what I needed, he got me things I wanted... The things he never did before.
Then, out of nowhere, in a usual domestic argument he told me he couldn't do it anymore. I thought it was just another argument but as more days go by, I know he means it. He says he wasn't happy, he's been pretending, it's better that he leaves now than grow to hate me. No warning, no discussions, he just made a decision to throw away a 7 year relationship without any reason. I'm confused because he won't talk to me, he ignores me .. Avoids the subject... I spend my days and nights crying my eyes out, with no affect on his emotions.
I gave up everything for this man to move back to the states to be with him: my family,my friends, my grad school opportunity.. I am all alone here, no one to talk to, no shoulder to cry on, nothing. He was all I had here, and he knows it, I have backup plan and nowhere to go but it doesn't seem to covern him as he wants one of us to move out. I dedicated my life to him, been a loyal wife. What hurts the most is that I had dreams of buying our first house, I was ready to have a child with this man and be a family.
All I got in return is that he's nt happy and we got married to early. I feel like he's describing a different marriage.
I made so many sacrifices to make this work, I put all my cards into this marriage. Now, I feel so alone, like I have nothing left. No reason to continue because the person that was my life doesn't want me in his anymore and I dont even get an explanation. I'm broken. I didn't see this coming and I don't know how to handle this on my own. I spent days in bed crying myeyesnout while he stays out and doesn't even check up on me; this cant be good for my health.
Regardless of what happens, I love him. He is the love of my life and I don't know how to go on without him. Please help, how can I make myself sane and strong enough to handle it?
If nothing else, it feels so good to let it ... Or type it... All out.
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