So , my wife has always looked great. She is now addicted to the gym .. 4+ hours a day. She has made an entire host of new girlfriends that have crazy lives ... cheating, divorce, on and on. I have been enabling her to get out of the house a lot more. She is/was a very Godly woman and an outstanding mother. She is a stay at home mom and been selfless for years. She started letting go of a few things which I thought was good. Little did I know she was letting go of me. I thought we were very happy. We were having sex every night ..... out of her guilt. Long story short, I caught her in a major emotional affair with my BEST friend in the entire world. UNREAL! As soon as I found the evidence she said I have been unhappy for a long time , we are getting a divorce. I am crushed so I do the worst thing and go in to panic mode. I am telling her I am sorry ... yes I AM SORRY! Anyway I tried taking her to counseling. She is done and has seen an attorney. We are 32 and have been together since we were 15. We have 3 children that are incredible. The kids do not know. Her plan has been to "Make it through the holidays" all along. She pretends like I do not even exist to her. I am having conversations about how things are going to play out and going along with this. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way. She is saying I can't blame this emotional affair because she gave up on me a long time ago. I know she has been satisfied with us in the recent past. When I was suspecting her, I was snooping, tracking, lying, and whatever else to get the evidence. Those are now my key qualities plus controlling! So anyway .. she stays at home by choice. I am a professional with an above average income. Of course we are stuck in our house with this economy. I have a hope that Christmas with the kids will turn things around. I want this to work, but I can't be with her like this. I really love the girl. She is cold as ice right now. There are a lot of consequences to what she is doing .. I just don't think she sees that. She is getting bad advice from the wrong people. Everyone around us that knows is wrecked. I have had trouble with anxiety which exposes my weaknesses. I am trying to stay strong as best as possible. I am talking with my therapist more right now. I am actually surprised how well I am coping! If we get in to a conversation where she starts to feel guilt, she removes herself. We went to see our pastor and she felt like she was attacked .. someone told her the truth. I would not keep the kids from her in a divorce, well we would share them. I have told her she needs to come with me to a parenting class for potential divorce parents , and read a book about look term effects of divorce. I am trying to be nice but strong through all of this. I do have 2 attorneys on retainer, but I really want us to work. We have both taken each other for granted and deserve better. I think we can do this and come out stronger. ANY ADVICE? Thanks!