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I hope u don't mind me telling u my story as short as I can make it as u seem very knowledgable
My husband adopted my two kids from a previous marriage where my ex was in prison. He got out and a year later contacted me to find out why our oldest son (no longer legally his) was doing because that son secretly facebooked him. We proceeds to talk text only as he wa 26 hours away for two months behind my husband back .
My husban for two years prior had been battling pain killer addiction ( finally after this started going to a doctor and now on medication to treat that addiction)
For those two years he was verbally mean to me very disconnected and hardly no intimacy. I don't know for 18 months it had anything to do with an addiction. We have the two kids from previous marrige then had two of our own. Be fore we got married his ex girlfriend whom he had no kids with told me they had sex and he admitted she had come to his work but didn't tell me cause I would think he cheated that was 2003 after living together 3 years. Although I don't fully believe him I let it go. So after he found the texts of me and my ex he with our confronting me with his mom and sister
Went to a lawyer filed and took off with kids to an out of state relative asked me to come see him I did the. Told his mom I stalked him tjere. Due to his addiction we didn't know about he lied for two ears about me and his family said horrible things about me etc to keep me and them apart. He then started texting calling this ex behind my back a month after finding out about me. I found phone records called her she said they met at lake he took our two kids even. Then met again alone or pain meds and said he had lied told her we didn't live together etc. ok so I have NC with the excimer elly but my husban sad my betrayal with my ex is worse because of the history and he is hurt worse because he didn't do anything with his not were his intentions to. I say te same my ex was five states away and we only texted talked but I am suppose to believe my husband while he continues to feel like how can he eer know I am really being honest (I could say same to him) and says he knows he was mean and selfish with addiction but never had gone to a woman to talk. He looks at me different but says he wants to be here and with me and feels like he has been forced to feel unimportant and I robbed him of that. I cry a lot I him an say why can't we just be like before of w both want tht I am willing and do look forward and forgiven. He was an absent husband emotionally an physically for those two years while me and my ex talked alot he did say he wanted me still always will while I told my ex my husband and me were havig problems but if he could be his real self (my husband now) he is all I have ever wanted. Any advice on how I can or things I can do or say to prove I am trustworthy ? I want him to look at me like before. Sorry so long just need no matter how harsh advice I love him
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