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I appreciate the advice people. I asked her right out if there someone else. She said no. She said life is just hard with children etc she apologised and said she will try harder with me. But she didnt answer most of my questions 馃え just sat in silence most of it
 

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Billy, why did you accept her "non-answers". Tells you a lot, no? She doesn't want to tell you anything about it. Of COURSE she is going to say there is nobody else.

You may want to consider hiring a PI to follow her on a few of those late nights, or girls nights out. That way, you will know for certain, BUT -- since you have asked her, IF she is having an affair, she may back it for for a few months until she thinks you are ok again.

I think you really DO need to get her to answer your questions.
 

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I appreciate the advice people. I asked her right out if there someone else. She said no. She said life is just hard with children etc she apologised and said she will try harder with me. But she didnt answer most of my questions 馃え just sat in silence most of it
Billy21Blue, I am going to give you some advice. First you must cure your cranial rectal inversion and open your eyes. So she said 鈥淣o鈥漺hen you asked her about an affair. Well, did you truly expect her to say hell yes I am having an affair? I asked my wife three years ago and she said the same. Guess what I found out a week later? Yes, I caught my FWW having an affair.

Athol Kay鈥檚book should be mandatory in order for a fellow to get his man card. I purchased this for my son who married a couple of months ago. He loved it.You will,too.

Now back to basics. First you appear to have resources consider having a PI tail her when she goes out after work. Consider a VAR.

I am not certain from your posts if she is or isn鈥檛. Both of you appear to have issues and MC is what I think you each should consider.
 

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Discussion Starter #45
She isnt cheating. She is just bored of the life we have created together over last 19 years.bored of me. Her job etc. Shes looking for excitement. The question is can we get over this ? 馃槓
 

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Discussion Starter #47
Ok well over a year later I think I鈥檝e had enough of things as they are.

I want a lover as well as a best friend and great mum to my children.

Am I wrong to say this to her?
 

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Ok well over a year later I think I鈥檝e had enough of things as they are.

I want a lover as well as a best friend and great mum to my children.

Am I wrong to say this to her?
I don't know... Have "you" done anything to get such a relationship in the last year?
 

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Billy, have you talked to her about going to Marriage Counseling? You need to tell her how serious you are, and find out if she just doesn't want to be married anymore, because YOU are at that point. Do NOT let her "sit in silence" and not answer your questions. Tell if she doesn't feel like answering, then you have your answer -- she does NOT want to work on the marriage, and then YOU can plan out how to extract yourself from the situation.

Did you ever investigate to see if she was having an affair? Did you ever get a VAR to see what she is talking about when you are not around?
Marriage cannot be a one-sided deal, and it sounds like that's what you have.
You and her relationship need to be your PRIMARY. Yes, take care of the kids and love them, but if she is focused all on them and NOT what is going on between the both of you, NOT GOOD.
 
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