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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife and I have known each other since we were in third grade. However we dated other people and lived 500 miles apart throughout high school, we were "boyfriend/girlfriend" back in third grade.

We were married 2 years ago, and she has a hard time keeping a job and/or finding a job. My income is the total income, with no other. My problem is she does not help in any other way.

I'll do a quick scenario and Please someone give me insight. Before you read this, I commute 1.5 hours of highway driving everyday, Waking up at 4:30am, leaving at 5:30am, and getting home around 6:00pm or later. leaving little time to help out

First, She sleeps til 10-11 am everyday.

then, She will make herself Breakfast, but will not clean up the mess (she uses every utensil possible)

then, She will try on clothes for fun, and throws them on the floor, instead of hanging them back up.

then, She does not wash clothes at all. She will start a load, and forget about it, and the smell of mold, but never follows through.

then, She doesn't cook dinner, or offer to clean up after I cook.

Forget about any daily household chores, cleaning, dusting, or just picking up after herself. I doesn't happen.

I feel like we should contribute equally.

If I bring anything up, she is defiant, and claims she does so much. I know I am not crazy, I need help, can ANYBODY RELATE?
 

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I agree, don't have kids. And, I am very sorry you are going through this because for most of my own relationship, this very thing happened to me.

Your wife is probably depressed. In fact, I'd bet on it. As I told another poster, drag her if you have to, to a doctor.

My current (and just about ex) was like this during the first 7 yrs we were together. She was depressed and started medication. When she took it (it takes about 30 days for results), she had energy and cleaned up around the house (she only worked 2 1/2 yrs during this period, off/on). BUT, if she stopped taking the meds, she slipped right back into her old habits of not cleaning, leaving a mess, spending all day on the computer in chat rooms, etc.

Do you and your wife a favor. Get her to a doctor and if you have to watch her take her pill everyday, do it.

I wish you luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
yeah, forgot to mention that, she is 4 months pregnant, but these have always been problems. I do too much I know. What is the right thing to do? On top of work, I am getting my Engineering Degree in Sustainable Energy
 

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Did you know she was sloppy and lazy before you married her? Why does she have difficulty keeping a job - lazy in that area as well?

So now you're bringing a child into this. Not good. Why did you marry her? Is she great looking and spectacular in bed? If you knew her "habits" prior to marriage, I don't see what the attraction would be ...
 

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I relate to your story a lot. I've got many of the same issues with my wife and let them go on for years. We've got our 8th yr anniversary coming up next month.

I wish I had some advice to offer you other than get help now and don't let it drag on for years like I have. We've started seeing a MC and at his urging (and urging of posters here) we're working on getting her an appointment for a therapist about depression.

For myself I'm giving it one more go but I'm afraid that maybe I've waited to long. I don't feel for my wife like I should but I'm willing to give MC a shot. Hopefully you're taking care of this now and you'll be able to save your marriage.

You're not alone with this and I wish you the best of luck in fixing things.
 
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