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hello friends i been together with my wife for 20 years we have 3 kids all almost over 16 years of age ...my wife reach age 41 i have not been the perfect husband ,we have had our ups and downs . but 3 moths ago she mention to me that shes getting older and that it be fun to start going out with her friends ..and start dating younger guys ..she continues to tell me that she loves me that she will never leave me and for some reason i agree..afraid of losing her .but what i notice is i was never a jealous person until now ..i feel like my personality has changed so much i dont plan things no more i use to love vacations i lost the taste in life somtimes i dont feel like working ..i get angry real fast now my kids notice my mood swings ,,whats happening to me ? how will this end ,,she has not slept with no one yet ..we set ground rules that she will tell me everything .
She is working her way to dumping you, so your only alternative is to work towards dumping her faster.
 

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Weren’t you here under a slightly different name about a year ago with the same topic??

If your wife tells you straight to your face she is ready to bang young dudes then she is done. From this point forward it is exactly YOUR OWN FAULT if you stay married to her.

I really don’t have sympathy for guys like you. I really don’t even comprehend that you don’t understand what to do.
I was thinking the exact same. Trying to recall the similar name.
 

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Open relationships are always one-sided. The one asking, is usually opening it up for themselves, and because they want the financial benefits of staying married. They don’t ever think their other half will divorce them or get any action themselves.

These ones are always easy! You give them a divorce, or feel free to meet someone new. (Usually they won’t like that, but by this stage you shouldn’t really care about the person that doesn’t care about you).

It’s really an easy choice here! Good luck.
 

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@caifan80 ....1st you will not get much support on this forum for an open marriage.

You agreed to let your wife step out of your marital bedroom into someone else's.

What changed in your marriage that you would allow this ? There must have been some deal breaker event , where this was discussed ?

You are having high anxiety, which is changing the relationship dynamic with your children. Instead of parenting your are projecting your unhappiness toward them.
Is that really worth it ?

You are obviously having 2nd thoughts about this open marriage arrangement.
My advice is to tell your wife that you are not on board with this arrangement any longer and that you don't want her to go thru with it.

From what I have read both parties must be 100% on board for open marriages to work.

Obviously this is not the case with you.

Your anxiety will grow until it eats you from the inside out. Everything will change in your life. IMO there is no future in it if you already feel this way and it hasn't even happened yet.

When these conversations come up it , it always makes me wonder , does she already have someone in mind ? Maybe she has already stepped out on you ?

You mentioned going out with her girlfriends , are they coaching her / supporting her decision to do this ? Have you talked to any of them about this ? I'm sure your wife has talked to them about it.

Bottom line....I wouldn't stay in this relationship. It almost sounds like it's a last ditch effort on your part to stay married.
 

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Step 1 - Open your wife’s purse and get your balls back

Seriously man, if a woman I’m with tells me she wants to bang other dudes, her bags would be packed and on the lawn so quick. Life is short. Know your worth and find someone that will respect you.
 

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hello friends i been together with my wife for 20 years we have 3 kids all almost over 16 years of age ...my wife reach age 41 i have not been the perfect husband ,we have had our ups and downs . but 3 moths ago she mention to me that shes getting older and that it be fun to start going out with her friends ..and start dating younger guys ..she continues to tell me that she loves me that she will never leave me and for some reason i agree..afraid of losing her .but what i notice is i was never a jealous person until now ..i feel like my personality has changed so much i dont plan things no more i use to love vacations i lost the taste in life somtimes i dont feel like working ..i get angry real fast now my kids notice my mood swings ,,whats happening to me ? how will this end ,,she has not slept with no one yet ..we set ground rules that she will tell me everything .
I have nothing against discussing this with you if i thought you were going to respond to our posts , but as i think your not going to respond to any posts i will just say good night ,
Saying "she has not slept with no one yet" is saying she has with someone , and I THINK IT IS NOT the sleeping that is important unless she is boring in bed or on the office table
 
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I don't get it? Why would any man want to have another man have sex with his wife?? What happened to the sanctity of the marriage bed? Are these gifts we share between a husband and wife no longer of value?
Brother look around the house and find your testicles again! You're a man, married to a woman, so ACT like it! Geeze what the hell. So do you have E.D. issue? Is this the reason why? If you and your wife really love each other, this wouldn't be an issue. Obviously you don't take control in the sack or anywhere else. Have a great time with the mind movies, pain and divorce!
 

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This post doesn’t appear legitimate, but for the benefits of readers for which this happened to them:

A spouse who suddenly wants an open marriage is often an indication that the said spouse is already having an affair and doesn’t want the inconvenience to hide it anymore.

If you are a TAM reader and got the “open marriage “ speech, next step would be to start investigating.
 

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we have been through this some many times , a new poster that his only post is an open relationship question on a forum that is so against open relationships , just baiting us , one post wonders , best this to say to them is nothing
 
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hello friends i been together with my wife for 20 years we have 3 kids all almost over 16 years of age ...my wife reach age 41 i have not been the perfect husband ,we have had our ups and downs . but 3 moths ago she mention to me that shes getting older and that it be fun to start going out with her friends ..and start dating younger guys ..she continues to tell me that she loves me that she will never leave me and for some reason i agree..afraid of losing her .but what i notice is i was never a jealous person until now ..i feel like my personality has changed so much i dont plan things no more i use to love vacations i lost the taste in life somtimes i dont feel like working ..i get angry real fast now my kids notice my mood swings ,,whats happening to me ? how will this end ,,she has not slept with no one yet ..we set ground rules that she will tell me everything .
Sorry my friend I have some bad news for you, that`s if you`re not a troll. But regardless still good advice for anyone else in this situation.
Your wife has already been cheating well prior to her suggesting a one sided open relationship, probably carousel riding with guys for some time and may even be having an affair.
She has planned her move treating you like a sap, wanting you to give her a free pass to cheat, which you have.
Your wife doesn`t love you or cares much about the kids and she could spring I want a divorce on you at anytime and as the situation stands at present she can really screw you over. You could lose your home and the children, I kid you not.
These women are not intelligent but cunning and as sly as a sh*thouse rat.
Take note of what I am saying: do not admit to anyone that you agreed to your wife`s terms, she can use this as ammunition against you in a divorce court.
Stay cool and act normal. Hire the services of a PI and gain as much proof of her cheating as possible.
Then without your wife`s knowledge visit a divorce lawyer for your best most viable options for a divorce, then file for divorce.
Grow a pair, read all the good advice on here and start taking action.
 

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hello friends i been together with my wife for 20 years we have 3 kids all almost over 16 years of age ...my wife reach age 41 i have not been the perfect husband ,we have had our ups and downs . but 3 moths ago she mention to me that shes getting older and that it be fun to start going out with her friends ..and start dating younger guys ..she continues to tell me that she loves me that she will never leave me and for some reason i agree..afraid of losing her .but what i notice is i was never a jealous person until now ..i feel like my personality has changed so much i dont plan things no more i use to love vacations i lost the taste in life somtimes i dont feel like working ..i get angry real fast now my kids notice my mood swings ,,whats happening to me ? how will this end ,,she has not slept with no one yet ..we set ground rules that she will tell me everything .
talk to her and tell her you love her far to much to share her and have changed your mind as you now feel it is already affecting you marriage and your own feelings.but you have to tell her now if she continues then you know your marriage is lost
 

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This post doesn’t appear legitimate, but for the benefits of readers for which this happened to them:

A spouse who suddenly wants an open marriage is often an indication that the said spouse is already having an affair and doesn’t want the inconvenience to hide it anymore.

If you are a TAM reader and got the “open marriage “ speech, next step would be to start investigating.
Investigating? Why? If she wants an open marriage, just file for divorce and let her be as "open" as she would like. Let her have whoever she fancies.
 

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“Don’t worry, I’ll never leave you” when said by someone who is married and wants to date others is code for “I want all the benefits of marriage, but also want to pretend I’m single again.”
:rolleyes:

I think you have to come to the realization that the woman you were in love with, has changed to this woman. Would you agree to marry a woman and have an open marriage? If not, why do it now?
 

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hello friends i been together with my wife for 20 years we have 3 kids all almost over 16 years of age ...my wife reach age 41 i have not been the perfect husband ,we have had our ups and downs . but 3 moths ago she mention to me that shes getting older and that it be fun to start going out with her friends ..and start dating younger guys ..she continues to tell me that she loves me that she will never leave me and for some reason i agree..afraid of losing her .but what i notice is i was never a jealous person until now ..i feel like my personality has changed so much i dont plan things no more i use to love vacations i lost the taste in life somtimes i dont feel like working ..i get angry real fast now my kids notice my mood swings ,,whats happening to me ? how will this end ,,she has not slept with no one yet ..we set ground rules that she will tell me everything .
Tell her you have changed your mind. Its crazy to agree to her doing that.
 
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