SheStillGotIt...I usually get a kick out of your snarky post but believe you are way off base on this one. The guy does NOT want to be a farm hand. Why is that wrong? Why does that make him a loser?So you've got a deadbeat boyfriend who EXPECTS a free ride at your place and on your dime for doing the absolute bare minimum, I guess he thinks he's so much of a prize that his mere presence alone should be enough for you.We recently had a discussion about him either needing to pay rent or help with farm maintenance and I can tell that he seems resentful about it because he wants to be able to work on his cars and take it easy on his 3 days off. I get it, and I really try not to ask too much. When he does help, he won’t do much on his own.. like I have to be there to fetch stuff etc., when he is perfectly capable of doing it alone (like I do most of the time) instead of me being able to work on other projects that only I’m capable of doing and he does it begrudgingly and acts totally put out especially when I’m on a deadline (fighting against the weather and no, I can’t wait and leave hazards laying around from half finished projects for horses to get hurt on) so I can’t wait till he feels like doing it.
If I may ask, what is so SPECIAL about a guy who takes advantage of a woman and just like a PARASITE, feeds on his 'host' and uses her for a free ride? What could you possibly find appealing or attractive about that?
I see by one of your subsequent posts, you're all about pandering to this guy instead of demanding the respect you deserve, because rather than face what he really is and kick his worthless, parasitic ass out the front door, you're thinking of MORE ways to give give give while he takes takes takes.I’d love to have a shop where he can work on his cars, I can pop in, grope him a little and be on my merry way... if I need a few minutes of help with something heavy he’s there and take 5-10min of his day I’d be happy. At the same time, I’m happy to help him too if I can (I don’t know much about cars though... and what I do know is mostly about diesels).
I might be inclined to agree that a DECENT guy might have to worry about this. However, the guy in question has been living there for 6 months and not contributing anything. All he wants to do is live for FREE there and have the OP cater to him while he doest NOTHING except play with his cars on the days he's not working or after work.Your new boyfriend, who used to be your ex’s friend that helped him with the farm work saw this, and does not want that to happen to him. I do not blame him.
The guy is a selfish loser, OP. Why are you letting a man take advantage of you? Do you honestly think you don't deserve anyone better than this parasite?
The OP has been struggling for years trying to make a go of things, it in part ruined her first marriage, it is ruining her health, it has put her in a financial hole. She even had to bring her parents in to help cover her bills, the poor folks should be enjoying their senior years, NOT still carrying their kid.
I think the boyfriend is smart enough to know that NO amount of work is going to solve the problems. He is there to see her (bless him), he doesn't need to sponge off her, he has his own home, his own job, and his own hobbies. He does help out, but it's never going to be enough for the OP.
Cashybum I think your passion has become obsession. I told you this long ago in one of your post, very very few people ever make real money in the horse world. Have you done the math at what it will take to pay off your arena? How many lessons a day for how many years? Have you done the math as to what the business needs to generate real cash flow? Have you ever sat down with a financial advisor and looked at your future? Put a financial plan together with goals and time lines?
Bottom line OP you are looking for help, physical and financial. Yes there is some sucker out there that would let you drag them into the muck of your life, but your current boyfriend is too smart for that.