[timeforchange]

One of the only pay offs of going to bed alone is that I can masturbate when I have the energy *quite sad really*. Anyway, I've noticed at times when I need to relieve myself more often than it can strain my wrist and I've been considering plucking the courage to go buy a sex toy.

If your wife bought a sex toy because of the lack of sex you both know is happening, would you be offended? I'm wondering if this would be like slap in the face?

 

[40isthenew20]

It would turn me on and just may be what you Guys need for a spark. Seeing my wife use a dildo on herself drives me nuts.

 

[Happily Married Guy]

I can answer the question in terms of my relationship with my wife, because this happened. Our sex life is good, I think we are both happy with it. There are times with work, kids, etc that maybe we don't do it as much as one of us would like but I think that's normal.

On a trip with her friends a while back they all decided to purchase a toy and bring it home to surprise their husbands. I wasn't surprised that she bought a toy, I was actually happy, I was even happier seeing the toy she bought, which was a rabbit.

That toy inspired both of us and we now have a small selection of toys to pick from and our sex life, while not bad before, is even better now. I have asked her many times if she uses them when she is alone and she has said no until recently when she admitted to using them when alone.

I was incredibly happy to hear that, I love that she enjoys the pleasure I can bring her when we're together but I also love the idea that she can bring herself pleasure when I'm not there.

Not sure if this helps, hope it does. If you want to know more just ask.

 

[timeforchange]

It would turn me on and just may be what you Guys need for a spark. Seeing my wife use a dildo on herself drives me nuts.

Wow! Ok that's an eye opener. When I mentioned it in the past he said he wouldn't mind but that he wouldn't want me to be using it so much that he wouldn't get a look in.......errr hello a look in would be nice in the first place

I can answer the question in terms of my relationship with my wife, because this happened. Our sex life is good, I think we are both happy with it. There are times with work, kids, etc that maybe we don't do it as much as one of us would like but I think that's normal.

On a trip with her friends a while back they all decided to purchase a toy and bring it home to surprise their husbands. I wasn't surprised that she bought a toy, I was actually happy, I was even happier seeing the toy she bought, which was a rabbit.

That toy inspired both of us and we now have a small selection of toys to pick from and our sex life, while not bad before, is even better now. I have asked her many times if she uses them when she is alone and she has said no until recently when she admitted to using them when alone.

I was incredibly happy to hear that, I love that she enjoys the pleasure I can bring her when we're together but I also love the idea that she can bring herself pleasure when I'm not there.

Not sure if this helps, hope it does. If you want to know more just ask.

It does help to know you understand what's happening. Your family situation sounds similar to mine only you sound more mature and confident in the change it's made. I feel like I'd have to keep it a secret not to hurt his feelings/ego.

Are both of your libido's on the same level that make your sex lives good to begin with? I feel like I need too much of it and that embarrasses me.

 

[Holland]

How about the two of you go shopping together. SO and I do this and have a great laugh.

Instead of going your separate ways and building more resentment, get the toy together and then use it together.

 

[gbrad]

I wish my wife would do this. First off it would turn me on if I knew she was doing that. As well, it would make it less of a big deal that I do it myself.

 

[timeforchange]

How about the two of you go shopping together. SO and I do this and have a great laugh.

Instead of going your separate ways and building more resentment, get the toy together and then use it together.

I suppose I could tell him I'm going and let him know he's welcome to come. I'm not sure he would do it though. At least he'd know about it.

I wish my wife would do this. First off it would turn me on if I knew she was doing that. As well, it would make it less of a big deal that I do it myself.

I'm really surprised you guys would be turned on by it:scratchhead:. The other day we did manage to get a hug and even though he squeezed my butt in a sexy way, when I suggested we go for a quickie he just wasn't feeling it and said he was feeling sick ffs. I'm so confused about this sh*t.

gbrad what makes you feel the pressure? I don't get it. If there are rations anyway(not saying you are in this situation), what's the deal?

 

[timeforchange]

@Holland: By the way, a couple of months ago I picked up a vibrating ring not realizing that he had to wear it. He did and when I told him in my shy excitement he was initially disappointed that I got it. I didn't understand why. Maybe it's the pressure thing? We did use it for a few minutes but not holding still long enough to feel the damn thing wasn't ideal!!

 

[LearninAsWeGo]

It would turn me on and just may be what you Guys need for a spark. Seeing my wife use a dildo on herself drives me nuts.

What he said.^

Basically, even when I was dating, by the time I was 22 or so, I sorta assumed all women have at least a good rabbit vibe (bare minimum).

Personally, I buy my wife toys or outfits or things like that every couple months. She is a bit shy about the toys, but she frequently buys outfits, lubes, or lotions. Maybe try buying a vibrating c0ck ring... those are a toy that is obviously mutually beneficial.

 

[timeforchange]

Maybe try buying a vibrating c0ck ring... those are a toy that is obviously mutually beneficial.

Thanks...we did use it for a few minutes but not holding still long enough to feel the damn thing wasn't ideal!! How are you both supposed to get pleasure when you both keep moving from the spot? Did we use it wrong?

 

[joe kidd]

Would it be bigger then me? Imagine the shipping cost for that. LOL!

 

[Wazza]

Would it be bigger then me? Imagine the shipping cost for that. LOL!

No charge?

 

[timeforchange]

Would it be bigger then me? Imagine the shipping cost for that. LOL!

In all seriousness though joe, would it offend you?

 

[joe kidd]

In all seriousness though joe, would it offend you?

If we weren't having sex? Yes. As a tool for sex play ? No.

 

[cantmove]

How about the two of you go shopping together. SO and I do this and have a great laugh.

Instead of going your separate ways and building more resentment, get the toy together and then use it together.

That can be a fun date for the two of you. Go have dinner, then go to the sex toy store and shop together. They're fun. Stbx and I did that a few times. We shopped and laughed our @sses off. Then you can go home and play.

 

[costa200]

If your wife bought a sex toy because of the lack of sex you both know is happening, would you be offended? I'm wondering if this would be like slap in the face?

If i'm not giving her what she needs then i can only blame myself, and this would only add to misery. If she is refusing sex and buys a sex toy, then relationship over.

So, as far as i'm concerned, being a proudish southern european, and not a fan of sex toys, i can't see a positive spin to this. But plenty of guys (specially americans it seems) get off on seeing their partners with toys.

Does your husband like toys? what are the reasons for not enough sex?

 

[timeforchange]

If we weren't having sex? Yes. As a tool for sex play ? No.

Why though? Would you be intimidated even though you weren't able to meet her sexual need? Is it that none of you having sexual needs met is a better option in your eyes?

 

[timeforchange]

If i'm not giving her what she needs then i can only blame myself, and this would only add to misery. If she is refusing sex and buys a sex toy, then relationship over.

So, as far as i'm concerned, being a proudish southern european, and not a fan of sex toys, i can't see a positive spin to this. But plenty of guys (specially americans it seems) get off on seeing their partners with toys.

Does your husband like toys? what are the reasons for not enough sex?

No. Aside from me buying that ring, we've never used them. I have no idea why he doesn't want more sex. He says he likes my body and often knocks my attempts back.

I mean we have young children, our family life and relationship not working all add up however the sex missing is part of all that. I realized some years ago that he genuinely isn't as horny as me which is why I've felt embarrassed. I've confessed this to him but I think that puts more pressure on him to perform.

 

[costa200]

If this is a long standing issue that he is fully aware how about you outright ask him? You think he can take the question?

 

[joe kidd]

Why though? Would you be intimidated even though you weren't able to meet her sexual need? Is it that none of you having sexual needs met is a better option in your eyes?

If she wouldn't have sex with me I would leave. I don't care if she gets a toy. Not a problem with me. If she was using the toy and not having any sex with me then yeah...I would be pissed.
Are you asking if it would bother me if she used the toy alone? If so then no. Not at all. I am saying that if we were not having any sex at all and she was having sex with a toy instead I would leave.
Not going to live in a sexless marriage.