Sex was great until we got married 30 years ago. He laid down rules for when we could have sex (only on a night where he hadn't worked or didn't have to work the next day, which was usually Saturday, and if we went out on Saturday, no sex), where he could be touched (all of a sudden, most of his body was off limits), and we could only have sex after a thorough cleaning with shower, shaving, trim nails, brush teeth. This left no room for spontaneity and quickly became pretty unromantic. I had been through one divorce already and had two children from my first marriage. Within two months, I was pregnant with my third child and felt pretty helpless. Other than our sexual issues, he's a great guy, a good provider, and really fun to be with. But, he used to spend hours in the bathroom where there were stacks of porn under the sink, and when we got internet service, he spent hours on the computer while I was alone and lonely in our bed. Then, I accidently found a disk from our digital camera with a lot of naked pictures he took of himself. He said they were for me, but they were over six months old and he had never shown them to me. Plus, he was very angry that I had found them. Also, the poses didn't look like something he would send me. Now, he has a cell phone and I-pad, both with passwords he won't share with me. I have told him that makes me feel like he's hiding something disturbing and it has affected my ability to trust him or be comfortable with him in bed. He says that it is my problem, not his, it's all in my head, and he will never share his passwords with me because he wants and deserves his privacy. I feel like a fool and like I have wasted my romantic and sexual self on someone who has been living a secret life throughout our entire marriage. Is this all really in my head?