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Ok so my husbands invited his bestfriend to live with us about 3 months ago with out "asking" me first. Anyway its a total disaster....the guys pays no rent he eats all our food and he takes up the few hours I have with my husband when he gets home form his long winded job. I've told my husband to make him leave, but he wont...im overly frustrated because as a young married couple with a baby, we should be living on our own, his friend took over my sons room and now my son has to sleep in our room, to make matter worse we finally were having the most amazing sex this morning and his friend walks right in with out knocking on our door first, so after he leaves we get back to it and then he does it AGAIN!! :mad: we have NO privacy anymore and its terrible! I don't know what to do anymore...this guy has no where else to go until he saves up enuff money to leave, but why would he leave when he can live the mooching life of riley with us?? what do I do, how do I cope? I've already said all I can say to my hubby and it just strikes an argument..please please help!!!!
 

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If the guy is going to stay for a while...
1) lock your bedroom door for privacy.
2) charge him room and board and put the money in an account to save it for him. That should get him out of your place in 2-3 months.

Is he a vet? If so there are places they can stay for free for a while to get back on their feet.

Does this guy have family?

There are people who rent rooms. He could go rent a room.
 

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What a disaster! He came back in to get a second look? Are you kidding me????
Do you have somewhere you could go? I'm sorry but that would creep me out! Next he'll be trying to join you in bed.
I think I'd say he either gets out or you and baby are leaving. He crossed a boundary and needs to leave.
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Your husband has to understand that when he married you, he made you first in his life, not his mates.

And you are right, the friend will never leave while he has free accomodation & free food.

If the sitution is such that your husband will not listen to rational arguments about his friend, then it may come down to you issuing an ultimatium to your husband, as suggested, either the friend goes or you & the child go.

And I am sure I have read similar stories to this and those people were given similar advice.
 

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Ok so my husbands invited his bestfriend to live with us about 3 months ago with out "asking" me first. Anyway its a total disaster....the guys pays no rent he eats all our food and he takes up the few hours I have with my husband when he gets home form his long winded job. I've told my husband to make him leave, but he wont...im overly frustrated because as a young married couple with a baby, we should be living on our own, his friend took over my sons room and now my son has to sleep in our room, to make matter worse we finally were having the most amazing sex this morning and his friend walks right in with out knocking on our door first, so after he leaves we get back to it and then he does it AGAIN!! :mad: we have NO privacy anymore and its terrible! I don't know what to do anymore...this guy has no where else to go until he saves up enuff money to leave, but why would he leave when he can live the mooching life of riley with us?? what do I do, how do I cope? I've already said all I can say to my hubby and it just strikes an argument..please please help!!!!
Not just over the line, but unconcscionable. I'd be taking the baby and moving to my parents' house, and downloading divorce papers from the clerk of court. He can have sex with his friend from now on.

The "nowhere else to go" is bullsh11t. It isn't your job to figure out what he is supposed to do. Moving him in without talking to you was treason. It has to be dealt with accordingly. If you accept this, get ready for a lifetime of the same thing.
 

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Re: Re: Husbands friend is Living with us!! and we have NO privacy

What a disaster! He came back in to get a second look? Are you kidding me????
Do you have somewhere you could go? I'm sorry but that would creep me out! Next he'll be trying to join you in bed.
I think I'd say he either gets out or you and baby are leaving. He crossed a boundary and needs to leave.
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Yeah...once is an inexcusable accident, the second time was for his jollies.... That's just wrong.
 

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I do understand how difficult it is to say no - my ex husband's best friend was round every single night when he was splitting from his wife, I used to come home from a full day's work and cook dinner for both of them. But at least he had his mum's to go to at night

There is no way I would have put up with that level of intrusion though - you need to give your husband an ultimatum I'm afraid

He can either kick his mate out or they can go and get a love pad together
 

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WTF?????

Your husband is such a child and so is his friend!!!!

Your husband didn't have the common sense of asking you if you were okay with his friend living in your house and again this husband doesn't have the courage to make his friend leave or at least make him give financial support for all that you're doing for him.

Your H's friend is too immature to understand that YOU CAN'T WALK IN SOMEONE'S ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING FIRST, especially when it comes to a couple!!!!

You're not a priority for this childish husband who doesn't understand who should be the most important person in his life.

And what is this idea of making him have your kids' room all by himself??
Let him sleep in the sofa!

wtf. I'm so pissed. He is not respecting your needs! - which actually are perfectly normal.
You didn't get to have a say in this.

How old is your husband?
 
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Thanks for all of the advice guys, my hubby is 27, and I am 23....im just so frustrated because it seemed that he sometimes takes his friends side over mine, and when we get into an argument his "bud" happily brings himself into, making it even worse!! our son had special needs and is havinf surgery soon and I had the conversation that the friend needs to get out so our son can have his own bed room back, my husbands respone was "no just use our bedroom and I will sleep on the couch" I was thinking you have got to be kidding me right? I really cant take this anymore and my husband says imoverreacting
 

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Thanks for all of the advice guys, my hubby is 27, and I am 23....im just so frustrated because it seemed that he sometimes takes his friends side over mine, and when we get into an argument his "bud" happily brings himself into, making it even worse!! our son had special needs and is havinf surgery soon and I had the conversation that the friend needs to get out so our son can have his own bed room back, my husbands respone was "no just use our bedroom and I will sleep on the couch" I was thinking you have got to be kidding me right? I really cant take this anymore and my husband says imoverreacting
Your husband is behaving like a 17 year old boy.

I can't believe it! Some people need to grow up asap, especially when they now have a kid and a wife to take care of!!
 
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... I had the conversation that the friend needs to get out so our son can have his own bed room back, my husbands respone was "no just use our bedroom and I will sleep on the couch" I was thinking you have got to be kidding me right? I really cant take this anymore and my husband says imoverreacting
Okay, I'm going to be blunt. Why? Because you have your plate full with a special needs child and an immature husband. Also, I remember being 23 back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth ... I would have been complaining, getting nowhere, and not knowing I had to put on my big girl panties and lay down the law.

So here it is: You talk to the buddy. You have husband present. You remain calm. Do NOT start crying, raising your voice, or showing any emotion. You are NOT running a homeless shelter. This clown works. He pays. He doesn't like that arrangement, you give him 48 hours' notice to remove his belongings and body from your premises.

If hubs starts putting up a fuss, you stand firm. Tell him if he wants his buddy leeching off of him fine; you aren't going to put up with it. I'm assuming you are in an apartment. Check your lease. As a rule, leases limit house guests to a specific period of time. After that, they either pay rent or get on the lease.

I understand you don't have a lot of confidence, given your husband is acting like a kid and not supporting you. But, in this case, YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOUR HUSBAND IS WRONG. Period.

Let us know how it plays out. Now go hike your big girl panties up around your waist, take a deep breath, and get this leech out of your home.

P.S. - Walking in on your during sex "accidentally" .... I call total b.s. on that. And your husband should kick this azz clown to the curb after that infraction!
 

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Your husband should be in some serious trouble for not consulting you. Not acceptable.

He does not get your sons room! He gets the floor or couch. Or a tent in the back yard.

Start wearing booty shorts around the house and thin tight tops, no bra.

Set some boundaries right now with your husband. You cannot have him act like this. This is toxic.
 

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It seems pretty simple to me. Tell your hubby, "There'll be NO MORE SEX until your buddy moves out! I'm not a porn star and this ain't a peep show. I cannot feel comfortable having sex with you while Frankie walks in to get his freak on!" If hubby suggests getting a lock on the door, tell him, "No! I just don't feel right. I expect Freaky Frankie to drill a hole through the wall, or peep through the keyhole, or stand with his ear pressed up against the wall. Sorry, I just CAN'T have sex while HE'S around."

Then WALK AWAY. Get dressed in the bathroom with the DOOR LOCKED. When hubby tries to get friendly, give him the cold shoulder because you're too 'embarrassed' in front of COMPANY. Really lay it on thick. He'll either get TIRED of no sex or he'll choose buddy over you....in which case it's time to high-tail it away from their Bromance anyway!
 

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Are you close with his mom? Would you feel comfortable talking to her about talking to him?
This situation is so wrong for so many reasons.
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