[BeyondRepair007]

Im finally at the end, I can't take anymore! This man will not keep a job to help support his family for nothing and it's so sad. I work from home full time dealing with angry customers, so it's very frustrating. I love my job I make good money but I didn't get married and have 4 kids just to be doing it alone. He done went on so many interviews this year, most of them hired him he will work a few days and quit. Gets really defensive when I talk about a job to him. Not really a good father because he only discipline our kids instead of building a bond with them. They afraid to even come to him and talk about anything. What annoys me the most is he still expects sex. We literally don't talk or have a connection. I've tried to talk to him about taking care of his self more, seeing a Dr etc and he gets upset about that. He has let his own self go and talk alot about his childhood and how he was brought up. Everytime our kid does some he always comparing them to him as a kid. I'm not secually attracted to my husband anymore like I get anxiety if he touch me. I guess this is a chapter of my life were I just got to end, because expecting him to change and he hasn't yet will continue to be a waste of my time.

If he's talking a lot about his childhood would he be open to counseling?

You can't make him change, and it sounds like you've tried to get him to help himself. I'm not a fan of divorce but I agree you can't do this all by yourself. And with 4 kids!

Did he change or was he always like this?
What does he do all day?

 

[BeyondRepair007]

Well, he does cook dinner some days, he takes the kids to school and pick them up everyday, while I'm working. He iron their clothes and I help get them up and dressed for school. But mainly he is just here watching basketball playing fanduel. He doesn't bond with our kids, our youngest have autism and instead while he's home I feel he can take her out to the library or do learning with her in his spare time. I multi task I help her with learning while even working sometimes. It's hard to get him to go to her therapy some days that I have to work. I've tried so hard and so long I'm just mentally frustrated. I've started taking medication to mellow my moods because my anxiety and depression has went through the roof.

What does he say when you talk to him about these things?

It sounds like he’s not completely checked out, so that’s at least something.

What about the couples counseling idea? Would he go? Have you asked about it?

The balance of work in your relationship is not in a good place for you. He needs to realize this and adjust, or the way forward gets much harder. The best way to make him realize is communication, but if he’s not listening then a 3rd party (counselor) could be a help. If that doesn’t work then more drastic actions might be needed (stop doing things for him, separation). If after all that he doesn’t want to be your spouse properly then accommodate him.